Everything Blue

L-T-

He was so beautiful, so gorgeous and so perfect that I could barely drive fast enough to get home. I now had the most perfect boyfriend, a contact to make loads of money and doing my dream job. I was on cloud nine and nothing could bring me down.
Once I got up to the door there Harry was there smiling from the kitchen as if he did something wrong.

I walked up to him and let my arms snake around his waist, feeling his warm body get closer to me. "Hi baby..." I whisper into his ear as I give it a kiss. He is getting tall, but he will always seem small to me.
"I picked and outfit out for our date." He spurt it out as if it wasn't what he did every time we went out. He said I'd dress like a bum without him and I can't say he's wrong. I just hum and head to the room because he's an impatient brat when he's hungry.

"Harry why do you get to look like an angel and I look like a dad!"
"So no one flirts with you! Let's go!"
I roll my eyes and glance at my phone to see it's only 4 in the afternoon. Harry wants dinner now?
"Baby it's too early come upstairs for a moment!"
I hear a dramatic huff and then light foot steps ascending towards me.
"Louis if we go late there's always a bunch of people and I'm hungry now!"
I once again roll my eyes and take in his beautiful face, his beautiful lips. No matter how many times I kiss him I always hunger for more. I also crave his body.
"You are so perfect." I watch as his eyes trail over my body and I try not to do the same. But as always, I let my eyes devour him.
"I have a question..."
"What?"
Harry walks over to me and runs his fingers down my chest and over my waistband. My member twitches in response, he always has such a power over me. He continues to run his fingers over my chest and stomach before he finally sighs.
"What if I don't like Spain?"
I feel myself get sad thinking about Harry without friends during my shoots, how he'd be far from home and no one to talk to when I work. I wanted to comfort him that everything will be fun and relaxing and that we'd be home in no time but I didn't want to lie. He could very likely hate it and if he did I would then hate that I put him in the situation.
I felt the silence went on too long so I decided to speak. "Then you can fly back my love. You can stay at my place or go back home. No matter what I want this to work between us and you have no responsibility following me around. If you don't want to that does not mean I will love you less. I want you to communicate and assure me that you're happy."
Harry seemed content with that answer and slipped into the bed. His soft hands slid under my shirt as he got in a comfortable cuddling position. I felt warm and happy with him so close to me, it was a sensation I never wanted to end.
"I want to go with you and I'm so happy that you will be there for me if I don't like it. But how can I not like watching the worlds sexiest man in a bathing suit all day. Also who knows, Spain men might be more attractive than you." Harry giggled and squeezed my hip.
I felt a swell of jealousy even though I knew he was joking. The thought of Harry with anyone else made my skin boil. But he is young and when I was at his age I would never settle down.
I try to ignore the fact that Harry could grow out of me but the more time that passed it became my only thought. Even on the drive to dinner I couldn't speak due to these thoughts. Harry was content with the silence and held my hand as he was used to my silence.
I wanted to talk to him about this but I didn't want to come across as possessive and jealous.
Did I groom him?
Does he deserve better?
I couldn't even focus on the dinner and even as I laid in bed with Harry fast asleep I couldn't stop.

Why am I still feeling guilt when I'm with the one I love, does that mean it's not meant to be? Soulmates are supposed to work like two puzzle pieces and yet I felt like his piece was cut to fit mine.
As my brain starts to shut down with exhaustion I'm left with one final question.
Do I talk to Harry about this or deal with it on my own?