Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Retreating

It had been 6 months.

Lauren and Camila seemed to be doing fine, until 5 months ago. Lauren had done a full 360 on their relationship.

She insisted that her and Camila would be better off without each other and things were less complicated as friends.

Camila, wanting to make the girl happy agreed to Lauren's suggestion and they remained friends as they were before.

A month was long enough to realise that a relationship wasn't the best option for them, Camila was accepting, if not glad of Lauren's suggestion.

Camila started to wake up when she heard voices around her, it was only when she heard Lauren's that she realised the vacant space next to her

Besides the fact they were only friends now they still had movie nights and slept in the same bunk on occasions.

Although Lauren had become increasingly and worryingly quiet as the last few months passed by.

"Just tell us what's wrong so we can help." Dinah said encouragingly

"I don't want your help Dinah. I've had my medication alright? Now leave. me. alone." Lauren said seriously

"Oh whatever, leave her be guys she'll be fine." Ally sighed leaving the area

Lauren didn't feel guilty, she didn't feel sorry, she didn't feel angry but she did feel hopeless.

She felt like the world was slowly giving up on her, she didn't blame it though, even Lauren was giving up on herself.

She thought that she was getting better at first, she made an effort in the beginning. She was trying.

Things were looking like they'd change originally, until things went downhill with Camila, realising a relationship wouldn't work after all. Camren really was just better off as friends.

Her therapist had been transferred, Lauren was grateful ultimately, she now had no obligations to try anymore.

Demi was always on the other end of the line should she need her, but Lauren chose not to need her.

Lauren was pushing everyone away again. Things were becoming like they were before that fateful night.

Her medication did nothing for her anymore, why? She wasn't taking it.

Lauren had come up with the conclusion that only crazy people needed crazy medication, in Lauren's mind that's what it was.

Depression and Anxiety in Lauren's case meant she was crazy, but if you were referring to anybody else then Lauren's opinion would switch.

She would give a fan her full support, telling them things would be okay and they would work out just fine. She just never believed her own words.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Normani asked Lauren still hanging around, as was Dinah.

"I want you both to leave me alone." Lauren replied coldly

"I'll bring you a sandwich." Dinah got up to make her one, knowing Lauren must be hungry since she hadn't eaten much at all in the past week

"Please don't let this go back to that night Lauren. I don't want things to be like they were, you know you can talk to us. Six months ago you were really improving. What changed?" Normani asked the girl clearly wanting answers

Lauren remained silent, not giving Normani any indication of an answer, or even that she'd heard her.

She was blank, staring into space, locked in her mind, running through her thoughts endlessly.