Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Bad days

"Dinah wake up." Ally shook the girl impatiently. "Go away." Dinah groaned shoving a pillow at the oldest who had easily dodged it from Dinah's very poor judgement since she was just waking up at this point, against her will. "What is it Ally?" Dinah huffed into her pillow. "I had a bad dream, please cuddle with me." Dinah could hear the misery in her voice which was worrying to hear from the happiest girl in the group. "What happened in the dream honey?" Dinah frowned as she scooted over to make room for her. Ally shook her head and cuddled into Dinah's arms. "Okay you don't have to tell me. Go to sleep, okay? I'm here for you." Dinah smiled and kissed the top of the shorter girls head affectionately. "I love you." Ally pouted and buried her head against her chest adoringly. "I love you too, my widdo Ally." Dinah sighed contentedly, resting her head on Ally's as she drifted back off to sleep.

"Please Lolo?" Camila pouted, Lauren sighed moving to make room for her. "I don't know how I haven't killed you yet Cabello." She teased but cuddled up to the girl nevertheless. "Cause you love me dork." Camila grinned and kissed her cheek. Lauren smiled and breathed in her scent. "That I do. Why did you even want cuddles anyway?" Camila sighed and her whole demeanour changed. "I'm homesick." She mumbled, Lauren nodded and stroked the girls hair to soothe her. "You can call your family tomorrow, in the mean time I can give you the bestest cuddles you ever had." Camila closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Lauren's waist. "You always know how to do this." Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Do what?" Camila smiled gently "Help me, just be there. You're amazing Lauren, did you know that?" Lauren blushed. "Awe..Thanks Camz." Camila smiled and slipped her eyes shut. Lauren couldn't seem to do the same though, she lay awake while everybody else was just peacefully sleeping in their bunks, shared tonight.

She looked past Camila and noticed Ally cuddled into Dinah's side, and if she wasn't so jealous, she would think it was adorable. Lauren had somehow untangled herself from Camila's body and made own her way through to the lounge area in the dark, miraculously not bumping into anything or tripping over. She shut the door and turned on the dim light, it illuminated the room, but just enough to see. Lauren sighed and laid back against the couch, why did she feel like such shit? Memories of that one night flicked through her mind like an old movie. She flinched as she felt and heard the hard smack against the ground and her hot tears streamed down her face. Lauren opened her eyes she nearly screamed when she noticed someone else in the room, but relaxed when she realised it was only Normani. "What are you doing up? You scared the shit out of me, I thought that I was alone in here." Lauren said, but it was then she noticed Normani was crying too, and that she hadn't said a word to Lauren yet. Lauren shuffled closer to her and opened her arms for her best friend. Normani leant into Lauren's arms appreciatively and sighed. "What happened Mani?" Lauren asked gently, Normani just wrapped her own arms around Lauren before mumbling, "Bad dream." Lauren narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "Was it a bad dream, or a bad memory?" Normani shrugged, Lauren knew that meant the second one. "Talk to me." Lauren urged, tightening her hold on the girl for reassurance. "I tried to come to you earlier but Mila beat me to it." She whispered, Lauren sighed. "I can get rid of Camila next time, you're more important than Camz being a bit homesick." Normani only nodded. "You wanna tell me what happened?" Lauren attempted, and luck was on her side as Normani took a deep breath. "I just, I couldn't catch you in time. And I really, really wanted to help. But I failed you Lo." Normani's voice cracked, Lauren leaned back and rubbed her arms "No you didn't, you did not fail me. We've been over this babe. I'm the one who jumped, you didn't push me off that building. You did help me..but it just, wasn't enough. There was nothing that you could have done to stop it from happening Mani, believe me, nothing." Normani gulped heavily and her next words were nearly incomprehensible because she was so upset, on the verge of tears. "I needed you Lauren, I need you." She whined and Lauren brought her back into her arms. "I'm here Mani, I'm not going anywhere baby. I promise you." Lauren was glad her shirt was muffling her best friends sobs, she was loud but only because she was used to keeping her problems to herself. The other girls knew nothing and they wouldn't ever as long as Lauren could keep her the way they were now. "Shhh it's okay, I love you, please don't cry." Lauren rocked Normani in her arms at a soothing pace "I love you too Laur." She croaked and tightened her grip on her best friend desperately. "Hey, I'm right here Mani. There's no need to hold me so tightly." Lauren soothed, stoking her fingers through her hair. "Shh, I love you. I'm here babe, right here." She didn't know how long they sat there, but they fell asleep together, in each other's arms on the couch.