Broken, Honest, Beautiful

But we're always here

"No Camila, I won't dare break up with Dinah for you, that girl makes me more happy then I've ever been. I won't lie to her about the kiss, if she breaks up with me for it then fine. But do not think for a second that means I'm running back into your arms. We were broken from the start." Lauren said and laid back down continuing her movements on Camila's stomach. "...You still care." Camila said as she noticed Lauren was still helping. "I didn't say that I didn't care Camz. I'll always care because I'm your best friend. I'm sorry, but I love Dinah." Camila smiled sadly "But you love me too, Lauren." Lauren shook her head "Once." After that, the girls had both fallen asleep in each other's arms. When the girls has come back from dinner and woken Camila and Lauren up, Camila felt better, but when Lauren saw Dinah her stomach churned. "Can we talk for a second?" Dinah hesitantly gave a nod. "What's u-" "Camz kissed me, and I kissed her back, only for a second. But it wasn't to hurt you, I don't love her anymore. It was to help her move on, it was just a goodbye kiss. It didn't mean anything." Dinah stared at Lauren before taking a breath and nodding. "Okay." Lauren bit her lip nervously "Okay?" Dinah didn't say anything "Babe please. What does that mean?" Dinah grabbed Lauren's hand, "I'm not mad, you've had a lot of shit go down in that head of yours. If you say that it was a goodbye kiss and it didn't mean anything to you, I believe you." Lauren's breathed a sigh of relief "We're okay? You promise you're not mad? You're not breaking up with me?" Lauren started to get tearful now which made Dinah frown and bring Lauren into a hug. "No, no Lauren I love you. I believe what you said, and I'm glad you were honest about it off the bat. Don't cry it's not worth it. I'm not mad at you I swear." Dinah rubbed her back. "You should be mad at me, I cheated." Dinah sighed, "Well I'm not, you made a little mistake. But you know what you want and you were honest with me, so please stop beating yourself up for it." Lauren nestled her head comfortably into her girlfriends neck. "I love you so much." Dinah smiled at Lauren's words and her raspy voice. "I love you too Lauren, more than you'll ever know." Camila watched the scene, inwardly screaming in frustration. She really thought she had a chance to get Lauren back, but for all she both admired and wanted to kill Lauren for it, she was honest and open. Plus those green eyes could make butter melt at times, you could forgive Lauren for anything. Camila had even forgiven her for eating her pizza once, that's how powerful her puppy dog eyes could be. "Hey Mila." Normani tapped Camila's shoulder and was surprised as hell when Camila grabbed her face and kissed her. "Uh..I thought you-" "Shut up Mani." But Normani pushed Camila back "Ugh I wish you'd stop that! You think it's okay to mess with everyone's feelings, you did it with Lauren and now you want to mess with me and it's not going to work with me. I'm not as vulnerable as Lauren and I'm not taking your crap. I'm over you, now you need to get over Lauren and deal with your shit." Camila gulped and looked at Lauren and Dinah. Lauren had tears in her eyes and Dinah looked angry, but Dinah was protective of both Normani and Lauren anyway. "Mani I'm not that vulnerable.." Normani gave Lauren a sympathetic look "Am I?" She croaked and looked up at Dinah "Babe we all struggle sometimes, it's just some more than others." Normani nodded "There's nothing wrong with feeling, I wasn't trying to put you down or anything, I just wanted to get my point across to Camila, that's all." Dinah kissed Lauren's temple and unwrapped her body, walking over to Camila and grabbing the collar of her shirt. "You. Get outside." Dinah forced Camila out the bus. "Dinah be careful. Don't do anything stupid." Ally begged, Dinah only hummed in a kind of agreement as she thrust Camila out. "I don't know what your game is Mila, but for the sake of everyone's feelings, and the sake of Fifth Harmony's career, it needs to stop now." Camila rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "I don't mean to keep fucking up like this Dinah I just..it's not even about a relationship anymore." Camila admitted, Dinah tilted her head to the side, "Then what is it?" Camila sniffled, turning her face away. Dinah prised Camila's hands away from her face to see tears coming out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. "Chancho I know something is going on bigger than this, I just need you to tell me what it is. We both know Lauren isn't the only vulnerable one in here, I've seen you. Talk to me." Dinah gently stroked the stray hair in front of Camila's face behind her ear. Camila's cries escaped and she tightly wrapped her arms around Dinah who already stood waiting to hold her best friend. "I love you Camila, okay? You should've known that you can talk to me about anything. I'm not just the prankster of the group, I'm your best friend." Dinah stroked her fingers through Camila's hair lightly. "Listen, just because I'm there for Lauren it doesn't mean I can't be there for you too babe." Camila buried her face in Dinah's neck "I'm so alone, everyone hates me. It's not that I'm out looking for a relationship. I just want stability, I can't do this on my own. It's like no ones on my side." Camila finally told the truth about her feelings, Dinah bit her lip trying to stop her own tears falling. How did she miss it? How was she so blindly stupid? "I'm on your side Camila, I'm always here. You're never alone, ever alright? I love you, I love you so much and I'm sorry that I don't tell you that enough." Lauren watched them at the window and decided she couldn't stand by and watch helplessly any longer. She got up and left the bus to go over, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Normani held her back. Lauren frowned, "I may still be "vulnerable" Normani but I can still make my own decisions. Let go of me please." Normani sighed and released Lauren's wrist. "I just worry about you because I care, you know?" Lauren smiled gently and kissed her cheek. "I know. I love you Manibear." and with that she went outside. "Camz?" Lauren called, Camila lifted her head and Lauren was sad at the sight of tear stained cheeks and her messy appearance. "C'mere." Lauren coaxed her into her arms and Camila switched over from Dinah to Lauren. "Thanks." Dinah mouthed, loosening her stiff arms. "I'm gonna go back on the bus Chanch and leave you with Lo, you gonna be okay?" Camila turned her head and nodded, Dinah kissed her forehead and then Lauren's cheek. "I love you both so much, always remember it." Camila and Lauren both smiled "Love you too." They replied, Dinah waved and then went back on the bus for a nap. "Your hugs are always the best Lolo, they're special and safe." Camila mumbled, enjoying the feeling of being in Lauren's tight embrace. "Good thing I like giving them." Lauren rested her head on Camila's, stroking her fingers through her long hair. "Don't stop that, it's so relaxing." Lauren giggled "Don't worry, I won't." There was a breeze in the fall air making Lauren shiver slightly. "Are you cold?" She asked Camila, the brunette shook her head and smiled. "Your hugs are warm too." Lauren pouted at the cute statement. "So do you feel better now? You were sick earlier." Camila shrugged. "My head kills, but as for my stomach, it's better, you rubbing it definitely helped." Lauren placed a soft kiss on Camila's temple. "I'm sorry you don't feel good." Camila closed her eyes "I'm sleepy." Lauren hummed, "Let's go back inside." Camila pulled apart from Lauren, connecting their hands instead as they walked back in. "Hey, you both okay?" Ally asked looking up from her phone. "It's fine. But Camz is gonna lie down, she still doesn't feel good." Ally nodded and smiled at Camila to give her reassurance, "Feel better sweetie." Camila gave her a weak smile back and went to her bunk, pulling the curtain back to be left alone. Lauren sighed and collapsed onto the couch, now resting her head on Normani's lap. "Hey you, what's up Lo?" Normani looked down at Lauren who wore a sad expression. "I need a cuddle." Normani could tell Lauren's mood had dropped very low, very fast. "Then come and cuddle." She held out her arms and Lauren sat in her lap properly, closing her eyes while her best friend held her. "You wanna talk about it?" Lauren shook her head. "You just want to be held?" Lauren nodded. "Do you want me or Dinah?" Lauren tightened her arms around Normani's body and moved so her head rested in her neck. "Well I'd take it from that she wants you." Ally said to Normani, then the dark skinned girl smiled at her friend softly. "I'd say you're right." Lauren tried to relax and push back the voices in her head, and focus on being in her best friends arms. But now they felt like they were squeezing her to a pulp, even though Normani wasn't holding her that tight. "Make them stop Mani." Lauren whimpered, Normani's eyes opened and leaned back so she could see Lauren's face. "Okay Lauren open your eyes and look at me. Talk to me about your favourite song." Lauren squeezed her eyes shut automatically, she couldn't seem to force herself to open them. She was scared of what she would see, while in her mania, it could be anything. "Lauren honey listen to Normani, open your eyes." Ally said as she got up and crouched in front of the two girls. "I can't." Lauren cried, her tears squeezing out the small openings between her eyelids. "Yes you can baby me and Normani will protect you. We promise, hold my hand. Squeeze my hand hard instead of your eyes shut." Ally tried a new approach, and it did work. Ally was sure that if Lauren squeezed any tighter her hand would be broken. But with Normani and Ally's help and patience, Lauren calmed down. Deeply breathing and staring into Ally's eyes, Lauren knew she had people by her side.