Hold My Hand || J.Seresin

Chapter 2

"What?" He asked quietly, sliding into the nearest chair. His head came to rest in between his hands, elbows resting on his knees.
"I didn't know how to tell you."
"Lila," He let out a sigh, finally looking back up at me. "I never wanted you to feel that way.
"You spend your whole juvenile life wanting to be just like your dad, a naval aviator, and then you can't anymore." I inhaled a shaky breath. Somehow telling this again was worse than the first. "For me, doing this was more important than honoring your wishes. I was so afraid of getting into another accident. I needed to prove to myself that I could fly again. I should have told you though, I'm sorry." Dad stood and took a few steps towards me, placing his hand on my shoulder. He didn't speak though and turned away, leaving my office. That went as well as could be expected.

Almost every Friday night was spent at The Hard Deck, a place always bustling with civilians and ever-transient naval officers. Tonight was going to be no different. I only knew the basics about the assignment that was bringing back Top Gun graduates, but it would be good reconnecting with old friends. If I'd officially graduated from Top Gun, I would have joined them on missions, but my work kept me here.

My reflection stared back at me in the mirror, debating whether or not to wear my uniform to the bar. It's not like I needed to impress anyone; he never seemed to have a preference between the uniform and civilian clothes. Why did I care anyway? I pressed my shoulders back and turned from the mirror, opting to change. I'd be more comfortable in civilian clothes anyway.

Fifteen minutes later, I was standing outside The Hard Deck, watching the bustle of people stream into the lively bar. For some reason, I was nervous. I guess the body processes certain situations in different ways and this is how I was reacting. The whispers and quick glances around the base had stopped a few years ago, but this was a group of people who'd only heard about me, and that meant the whispers would be worse. If I didn't want to catch up with a few friends, I would have stayed home tonight.

I shook my head, attempting to dismiss the thoughts from my mind. I followed after a small group of civilians eagerly chatting and entered the building, making my way straight to the bar in the center of the room.
"Hey Penny." I called out, catching the attention of the brunette bartender and owner.
"Barbie, your usual?" I nodded in response. I looked around the bar as I waited for my rum and Coke. A few spots down was my dad. I gave him a small nod, not bothering to approach. People knew we were related, but I didn't try to bring it to attention very often. Penny returned with my drink, sliding it across the counter,
"I'll open a tab for you."
"Thanks." I told her, grabbing the glass and turning away.

"Phoenix!" I called out, seeing dark-brown hair pulled into a bun with a naval uniform to match. The woman turned away from the pool table and towards me,
"Oh my god, Barbie! It's so good to see you." We met in a hug. Phoenix, or Natasha Trace, was in the Top Gun class after me, but we had become fast friends during her time in Fightertown.
"Please tell me it's you teaching for this mission." I chuckled slightly at her words and shook my head,
"I wish. I'll be around to supervise though." She gave me a warm smile and was about to speak when a few naval officers approached the group.

"Look who's still hanging around." Hangman said, clutching a few beer bottles in his hand. He paused, waiting for me to turn around. I rolled my eyes, looking towards Natasha, who stifled a laugh, before turning to face him. I had no intention of engaging in his ego power trip.
"Barbie." He finally said, breaking the building tension within the room.
"Hangman." I responded, crossing my arms over my chest. "I see you're still your usual self."
"And what's that, sweetheart?" He asked, taking a swig of his drink.
"Egotistical, and if I remember correctly, bad at pool." I walked towards him, swiping one of the beers from his grip and positioning myself by the pool table. I could tell he had some sort of cocky response all ready to go, but his attention then shifted to someone behind me.

"Bradshaw, as I live and breathe." I'd been the most nervous about this arrival, especially since the confrontation with my dad earlier. Bradley and my dad's relationship had been strained at best for years. Neither wanted to talk about it and I tried to avoid the topic as much as possible. Both men were important in my life and I appreciated they didn't stick me in the middle. When my eyes met Bradley's, he gave me a terse nod. While most knew who my father was, Bradley had wanted to keep his "relationship" with my father, and therefore me as well, on the down low.

I tried to ignore Hangman and Bradley's conversation. Mostly because Hangman was being his usual jerk of a self. Plus, I intended on beating him in this game. I grabbed one of the cues, waiting for one of the naval aviators to finish racking. I got into position, setting up my eye line with the cue and breaking the rack. The balls dispersed after the white ball hit them. The solid blue went into the corner pocket.

It seemed the noise of the balls breaking caught the two men's attention. A male naval aviator with the name plate Bob approached the table and was setting up when Hangman walked up behind him and took the cue out of his hands. Within seconds he lined up his shot and had two balls land in adjacent pockets. I mouthed "sorry" to Bob, ignoring the smirk on Hangman's face. Our game continued back and forth until it was down to my final move. Hangman definitely hadn't made it easy, but I was better than him.
"What do you say, loser buys a round of drinks?"

The rest of the candidates for this secret mission had started placing bets on us within the first few rounds. Whoever won got a portion of the money, and I didn't need it, but I wanted bragging rights. I took a deep breath and leaned down, angling my hand so the cue was facing where I wanted it to. Even though the bar was loud, a hush had fallen over the area surrounding the pool table. I pulled my elbow back slightly before releasing it forward with just enough pressure. The cue ball rolled into the direction I had sent it. From just a quick glance, it looked like I was going to miss the 8 ball, but then at the last second it curved slightly, tipping the ball into the pocket.

The group around us burst into cheers. My eyes met Hangman's and I smirked, before welcoming the hugs and pats on the back over my win. The group divvied up the bet money and handed me my portion. Hangman and another aviator, call sign Coyote, returned to the pool table, hands filled with beer bottles. The others reached for the beers, freeing Coyote and Hangman's hands. There were two left when Hangman approached.
"The winner." He said, hand outstretched with the beer bottle.
"Told you you were bad at pool." I responded with a smile. And even if he had lost, I swear there was glint in his eyes as I took the first swig.

The bar was still alight with laughter and the smell of booze when I decided to head home for the night. Whenever he and I were in the same town, the night tended to end earlier than the rest of our group. Bradley had pulled himself away slightly from the group, sipping on his beer. A small smile broke onto his face when he saw me approaching.
"We didn't get a chance to catch up much tonight." He told me.
"I wasn't expecting anything tonight. You're here for a few weeks. We can make time, or you can always visit. It's not like I'm going anywhere." I said with a chuckle. I hoped it masked the sadness in that sentence; that my career in the Navy was most likely grounded here in Fightertown. Realization flashed across Bradley's eyes, but he didn't say anything. I took the opportunity to change the subject,
"I'm heading home. Just wanted to say goodbye."
"You should stay." He tried to grab my elbow, pulling me towards the group. As much as I understood the simplicity of the gesture, it held so much more. I'd never be fully in this group of naval aviators. I was stuck here, while they still had the world to see.
"No, I'm good. I've got an early morning tomorrow, but I'll see you around." I replied, giving him a small smile.
"Let me give you a ride. We can catch up in the car." Bradley said.
"You're still drinking. And you should bond with these people." I told him, gesturing to the group around us. "I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home, Bradley." I gave him a hug, before making my way to the door.