Hold My Hand || J.Seresin

Chapter 11

Author's Note: Triple update to celebrate Star Wars day. May the 4th be with You, if you celebrate. Enjoy!!
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In the midst of reuniting with Banjo and my argument with Jake, I'd missed multiple texts from Bradley.
5:12pm: Hangman is a dick
5:45pm: Get a drink with me? My treat
6:45pm: Lila, you workaholic. The bar is calling your name
7:26pm: Come join the fun!
This message had just come in, so I responded quickly, telling him I was on my way. My frustration was still at the surface, as I chucked my work bag into the trunk.

I got into the car quickly, heading to The Hard Deck. Part of me just wanted to go home, but maybe it'd be better to clear my head. The drive was so straightforward, I didn't even realize I was parked. My mind was replaying the conversation with Jake over and over in my head. Things had gotten so out of control. I'd worry about it later; Bradley had been waiting.

It was easy to spot Bradley in his Hawaiian print shirt, sitting at the bar. I cut a path through the crowd and plopped onto the bar stool next to him.
"Finally," He mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. I bumped his shoulder with mine,
"Sorry, I was dealing with stuff." Penny came over before Bradley could ask what I meant,
"Your usual, Barbie?"
"Yeah, and two tequila shots." Penny poured those immediately and pushed them across the bar. I grabbed the first shot and downed it. Bradley reached for the other, but I smacked his hand away. Before he could say anything, I picked up the other and drank it in one take.
"Slow down there." Bradley chuckled. "Rough day?"
"You could say that." I responded, trying to have a light tone in my voice. "Heard you had an interesting one too."
"Hangman is a dick." Bradley answered, matching the first text he'd sent me earlier. I nodded in response, picking up the rum and Coke Penny had just set down. I took a long sip, feeling Bradley's eyes on me.
"Want to talk about it?" Bradley asked.
"No. You can vent about today." I told him. I didn't know what would come out of my mouth if I started talking about my fight with Jake. Bradley let out a long sigh,
"He just knows how to aggravate me. Bringing up my dad in front of everyone and insulting my flying."
"I'm sorry, B. I know you aren't fond of too many people knowing about your dad and the connection to Mav."
"He's gonna get everyone killed on this mission."
"So prove that you're the better pilot. I know you can fly this mission. You want everyone to make it home? Then it needs to be you in the air and not Hangman." I told him honestly. As much as I knew there was a different side to Jake, he was still incredibly selfish while flying.
"Mav's parameters are impossible." I was silent at that. Since their training had started, I'd looked over the course and parameters. It seemed like the only way to complete the mission and get back safely was doing it Mav's way.
"You disagree?" Bradley asked. I took another sip of my drink before responding,
"I think it's the only way to fly it."
"Of course you'd say that. You're his kid."
"It's my professional opinion." I retorted. Maybe I'd need to intervene in his and my dad's relationship. I really didn't appreciate his attitude of late.
"Sorry, sorry." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for a quick squeeze, "Thanks for coming out."
"Was I lying by omission by not telling people how well I know you?" I asked, the words blurting out before I could stop them.
"Woah, where'd that come from?"
"From today." I said vaguely and reluctantly.
"That's a tough one. Were there times when you could have said something about me, but didn't?
"Maybe," I answered, racking my brain. "In conversations where you were brought up or people asked if I knew you, I said something basic. Didn't bring up the fact that I've known you since I was child. Is that lying by omission?"
"I guess from someone else's perspective it could be."
"I was always just honoring your request." I sighed, "I never really thought about it until I was called out on it."

Penny came back over to us and Bradley ordered another round of shots. Bradley gave me a wry smile,
"You want to tell me what happened?
"Just an argument." Penny set the shots in front of us. Bradley and I picked ours up at the same time, clinking the glasses before downing the shots.
"You weren't lying with intent, which makes it tricky. I think you have to take what the other person is saying and acknowledge that for them it was a lie by omission." Bradley was right, and therefore I was wrong and Jake was right.
"You okay?" Bradley asked.
"We'll see. I owe somebody an apology now." I told him. Bradley chuckled, pulling out his wallet and setting enough money on the bar to cover our drinks and any he had before I arrived.
"Are you leaving?" I asked when he stood up and slipped his wallet into his back pocket.
"Yeah. You coming?" I thought about it for a moment. If I left now, I'd just dwell on my argument with Jake and I'd probably do something stupid that the more sober version of myself would regret tomorrow. My eyes scanned the bar, looking for anyone I recognized. They caught on Banjo who was sitting outside by one of the fire pits.
"I'm gonna stay actually; catch up with an old friend." I told him, gesturing to Banjo outside. Bradley nodded and started walking to the door, but hesitated, "I'm sorry if I asked you to lie. I don't want it to create problems. It wouldn't be the end of the world if people knew we were connected."
"Thanks Bradley." He nodded and headed towards the door, giving me a small wave as he left.
"You want anything else, Barbie?" Penny asked, grabbing Bradley's money off the bar.
"A beer would be great, two actually." I said, remembering I owed Banjo a beer. She handed me two open cold ones a few seconds later, "I'll start a tab for you." She said, before walking away.

I moved my way through the busy crowd towards the door that led to the back patio and stepped outside. There was a small breeze, but it felt good. The weather really wasn't cold enough to warrant a fire in the fire pit and yet there was one.
"Where's the boy toy?" Banjo joked, seeing me alone. I took a long swig of my beer before sitting down and handing her the other beer.
"We had a fight." I admitted. Banjo gasped,
"Are you admitting that there is a man in your life?"
"Yes." I responded, slightly defeated. Neither Jake nor I had handled ourselves well earlier when we fought. That combined with the alcohol and I just didn't care about keeping it all to myself right now.
"Finally, I've been waiting years for you to admit it!" She exclaimed. Then her expression changed, "I'm sorry you fought. Was it bad, are you guys still together?"
"We're not even together really. I'm sure we'll be fine; we both owe each other an apology."
"Do I get to know who the guy is?" Banjo asked. I could see she was dying to know, but respected my privacy not to push. I'd spent almost ten years keeping this to myself, but I believed I could trust Banjo with this information. She'd keep it to herself if I asked, and I would ask.
"It's Hangman." I said quietly, taking a sip of my beer.
"I'm sorry, what?" She sputtered, almost spitting out her beer.
"Hangman is the guy I've been seeing."
"Hangman? You're saying the guy who hangs people out to dry when flying, is an egotistical asshole, who you supposedly hate, is the guy you're seeing."
"Yes." I admitted.
"So you don't hate him?"
"No. At least not all the time. He definitely has his moments though."
"How? What? Barbie, I'm gonna need more of an explanation."
"We've known each other since the Naval Academy. That's when we started hooking up, just friends with benefits. And then things changed near the end of his final year at the Academy; still the same amount of sex, but more time spent doing other stuff. Now whenever we're in the same location, things just fall back into place."
"Wow." Banjo took another swig of her beer. "What was the fight about?"
"Honesty, secrets." I paused, reflecting on why Jake was upset and what Bradley told me before leaving.
"You know Rooster?" I asked. Banjo nodded, prompting me to continue, "He knows my dad and me. His dad flew with mine; Rooster's dad died, but my dad kept in touch. I've known Rooster since I was a baby. He asked that I keep our relationship on the down low. Which I guess means I've been lying to a lot of people, including you." I said, immediately feeling guilty.
"I'm not mad, Barbie. It's a surprise, but when someone asks you to keep something to yourself and that person is close to you, you do it." She took another sip of her beer, "Hangman didn't see it that way?"
"Nope." I responded, the word coming out short.

We'd both stopped talking and we're staring out at the water in the distance. The beer bottle in my hand was empty, but I moved it back and forth in my hands, trying to keep my hands and mind distracted. While I'd started the night really drinking, I'd sipped on the beer over the past hour until it was gone. My car was in the parking lot, so I needed to drive myself home.
"I'm gonna head home, Banjo."
"You gonna talk to him tonight?"
"Tomorrow. I should have a clear head." Banjo remained in her seat. I gave her shoulder a squeeze and made my way back inside and over to the bar. The place was still packed. I closed my tab and said goodbye to Penny. Maybe the drive and a good night's sleep would help me find the right words to apologize to Jake tomorrow.

Author's Note: Chapters 12 and 13 are posted. Happy May 4th. Thanks for reading so far!!