Hold My Hand || J.Seresin

Chapter 16

15 Years Earlier

My eyes glanced over my room, making sure I wasn't missing anything. I've been staying with Dad for the past six weeks, but unfortunately school was starting back up soon so I needed to get back to D.C. My flight was leaving midday tomorrow, so tonight was the last chance I'd get to see Bradley. Although, Bradley had applied for the Naval Academy and when he got in, then he'd be closer to me. I'd actually get to see him for more than just holidays.

The door slamming pulled me from my packing. My bedroom door was closed, but I could still hear a male voice calling out.
"Mav!" It was Bradley. I walked towards the door, leaving my bedroom and heading towards the stairs.
"Did you pull my papers?" Those words stopped me in my tracks. My feet were planted on the second floor and I had no intention of moving. This wasn't a conversation I needed to be a part of.

Their voices got softer and I heard the back door close. I don't think taking this conversation outside was the best idea. My bedroom was at the front of the house, the window looking into the driveway. If Dad had pulled Bradley's papers, that was going to change everything. I busied myself re-arranging the few items I'd left out before my flight; anything to avoid dwelling on the conversation happening in the backyard.

Minutes later, the back door slammed closed, followed by loud footsteps and the front door opening and then swiftly closing. I hurried out of my bedroom and out the front door, hoping to catch Bradley.
"Bradley!" I called out. He had opened the door to his Ford Bronco. He turned towards me, anger on his face, and I stopped a few feet away.
"Did you know?" He asked.
"No." I answered, letting out a shaky breath.
"He pulled my papers from the Academy. I won't be going to Annapolis, and I have nothing else figured out."
"I swear I had no idea. I'm so sorry Bradley." I stepped closer to him, hoping that was okay.

Bradley gently closed the car door and opened his arms. I stepped into his embrace, accepting the hug.
"I'm not mad at you, you know that right?"
"I know." I told him glumly, "Is there anything I can do?"
"Convince your dad to undo what he did." He responded with a chuckle.
"I can try. You're my brother, B, I know how much this means to you."
"It's too late, Lila. He can't undo what he did even if he tried." My shoulders slumped.  Dad had always seemed so supportive of Bradley's decision. What changed?

Bradley pulled back, his hands resting on my upper arms. He had that serious look on his face.
"Don't let him pull your papers." Surprise crossed over my face.
"You think he'd do that?"
"I wouldn't be surprised. You're his actual daughter."
"Bradley-" I started.
"I don't know when I'll see you next. But you have my number. I'm not sure I can forgive Mav any time soon, but you're still family."

"Dad!" I called out, hurrying down the hallway of the base hospital to him.
"I heard there was a bird strike. Are Phoenix and Bob okay?" I asked, my mind flashing back to my accident. His hands went to rest on my upper arms,
"Yeah, they're fine. They ejected in time. They'll stay overnight just as a precaution, but they're okay." I breathed out a sigh of relief.
"When I heard, I thought," I paused for a moment, collecting myself, "I thought it was bad." At my words, my dad pulled me into a hug. He held me for a moment before speaking,
"I'm gonna head back and wrap up for the day. Are you staying?"
"Yeah, I'll check in on them." I responded, although my dad still looked unsure, "Go, I'm fine. I'll just pop in and say hi."

I waited till my dad had turned down another hallway before slumping against the wall. Hospitals weren't my favorite place. I'd managed it a few days ago for my head, but this incident was so similar to my accident. This special detachment had brought up some bad memories. From nightmares to hospital anxiety, things hadn't been this bad since the first year after my accident.  Maybe another round of in-air jet testing would help. After my accident, I'd spent months grounded and it wasn't until a group of us traveled to Rota, Spain for the Top Gun demonstration which forced me to overcome my anxiety and fears.

I took another deep breath, shaking out my nerves and entered the hospital room that Phoenix and Bob shared.
"Hello, fellow bird strike survivors." I opened the conversation, hoping they found it funny.
"Who knew we'd have another thing in common." Phoenix joked.
"Either of you need anything? Overnight hospital stays are the worst." I mentioned, addressing both of them. Bob shook his head,
"Thanks Barbie, I'm okay."
"Yeah, I'm good too." Phoenix added, "Are we cleared for the mission?"
"I'm not the one making that decision, but Maverick said the doctor cleared you so I don't see why you wouldn't be okay to return to training."

My phone ringing caught my attention. I pulled it out and saw it was my dad. I glanced at Phoenix, mouthing sorry, as I stepped outside to answer,
"What's up?" I answered. My dad was on the end, but he wasn't saying anything. All I could hear was his breathing,
"Dad, what's going on?"
"It's Ice." He choked out, emotion evident in his voice. Uncle Ice had let me know about his cancer returning a few weeks ago. I hadn't wanted to think about it, what it meant for the future. I'd thought there would be more time.
"Lila?" My dad asked. This time, I was the silent one.
"I'm here." I croaked out. My hand reached up to brush a tear away I didn't notice had fallen, "When?"
"Earlier today." I nodded, then realized my dad couldn't see that.
"Okay. Is Aunt Sarah home?"
"I think so." I could hear my dad's voice was distant though, falling into his grief.
"Connor and Megan won't be here yet. I don't want her to be alone. I'm gonna go to the house." I responded, wondering if there was anything I could do to get their kids back to North Island.
"That's a good idea."
"Dad, are you gonna be okay on your own?"
"I just need some time, Lila."
"I understand, Dad." I paused, wiping another tear from my face, "I love you."
"I love you too, kiddo." He hung up after that. As much as I was worried about him being alone, I knew he needed this time to process the loss of his friend.

About 20 minutes later, I entered Uncle Ice and Aunt Sarah's house. Since my permanent move here, Uncle Ice had insisted that I have a key.
"Aunt Sarah!" I called out. Most of the lights were off in the house, but I heard a small sniffle come from the family room. I hurried down the left hallway and sat down on the couch next to her, pulling her into a hug.
"Oh, Lila." She said, tears streaming down her face. We remained in an embrace for what could have been hours. Neither of us needed to say anything. I just needed to be here for her. My mind varied between memories of Uncle Ice and what life would look like without him. My dad didn't have any siblings and Iceman had become family, hence the nickname Uncle Ice.

Growing up, I alternated my time between D.C and California. Whenever I was with Dad, Uncle Ice always made time for me. Between Dad and Uncle Ice, the two made sure I was stocked up on Naval attire. Uncle Ice bought me my first aviators. They were kid sized and I'd lost them within the first year, but he just kept on sending me new ones. He said it was important I maintain the "aviator lifestyle."

It was some kind of twisted fate that brought me to Top Gun when it did. I was one of the youngest aviators accepted into Top Gun, at 24. Just weeks before my arrival, Uncle Ice had been diagnosed. I hadn't seen him in about six years, what with the short Naval Academy breaks and the deployments after the Academy. I wasn't expecting to have much free time, but after the accident, it gave Uncle Ice and I the opportunity to re-connect and motivate each other in our recovery processes.

When the move to North Island became permanent, Uncle Ice had supported me through the whole process. And when my dad was relocated to the Mojave desert, Uncle Ice had insisted we do weekly lunches. We wouldn't get to have one of those again. Living in North Island had always felt like a blessing and a curse. But if I'd been stationed somewhere else or on a deployment, I never would have gotten this time with Uncle Ice. And I had to be grateful for that.