Caged Crown

◇35

I stayed in my bed, my gaze fixed on the ceiling, not moving an inch. Small drops of tears escaped my eyes.

"Please don't forget to take your medicines and food on time. Take good care of yourself." Ayman's voice echoed everywhere. I could see his bald head and his expression when I asked him about his hair. "Why did you lie?" I whispered. "You could have atleast told me about Wahb. I wouldn't have misunderstand you."

"You speak like you're leaving me, doraemon"

"I'll be with you forever."

I was startled by the door opening sound. It was Lunah. I quickly got up and sat upright and wiped my face.

"Look, isn't this-" She paused and looked at me. "Are you okay?" Her smile faltered.

I looked away, avoiding her eyes because if I don't then I'd get caught. "Laiha? Is it about that guy you're worrying about? Did he text or call you out of blue? Like, he messaged you and told to marry him?"

I shook my head and looked at her in shock. How could she go on guessing.
"Then tell me what is it that's worrying you? Did Naeef tell you something?"

"No, I just..." I was on the verge of crying thinking about Ayman. I couldn't think of those days when I cried thinking bad about Ayman not knowing he was six feet under, burried. Seeing my crestfallen face, she pulled me into hug and I went into fits of sobbing.

"Lunah, I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry that I...I couldn't find the truth earlier. I made everyone worried and think bad about Ayman."

I continued sobbing and continued, "He passed away, Lunah. He died months ago."

Her eyes widened and the anger and hatred for him ceased slowly.

"Innalillahi vainna ilaihi rajihoon." She muttered softly.

"What happened?"

"I..I don't know." Suddenly, It dawned on me that Alina had given me a box. What could be in the box? I wiped the tears and got up from the bed. I opened the box and inside it I found my old doraemon toy inside it. It reminded me of my days in orphange.

"Why do you always carry that doraemon with you?" Ayman asked when he was little.

"Because this is special to me. I couldn't love anything more than this doraemon. He's the only toy I have."

"Then, can I be your doraemon in real life?"

I took the doraemon and hugged it. It was small, but large enough to rest in my arms. I didn't know he took it with him when he went to States.

There was a small piece of paper in it. I opened it and caressed the letters that Ayman had inked.

"Leo,

By the time you would read this letter, you can't find me. I'm sorry for not telling you about Wahb because I always wanted our problems to end and get married. I thought you would not like the idea of adopting him. I want you to marry Naeef and have a happy life ahead because that guy is head over heels for you. It's evident in his face that he loves you, Leo. Don't be sad thinking about me and don't ever feel guilty or sympathy on me. I'm happy that I didn't marry you because had if I marry you, then you wouldn't have survived with your weak heart and I couldn't live as a widowed husband. So, I want you marry someone and I'd appreciate if that guy is Naeef."

I didn't quite understand what he was saying until, "Though someone marry you, it's I who's going to live with you forever, Laiha. Like I promised, I'm with you forever. I'm alive inside you, Laiha. The heart's beating inside you is me and I'm happy that I'm inside you. I live within you in every seconds. With every beat, I'm here. Every beat is a reminder of my existence. Your happiness is mine, your sadness is mine now. Don't make me upset. Please don't cry, Laiha. I can see you crying. I can't bear that. Now, don't be guilty and sad. We couldn't find a matching donor for you. Inorder to save you, I had to do something for you in the last minute or you wouldn't survive."

I wiped my face and touched my chest, feeling my heart beat. Each beat reminded me of him. I cried, thinking how could he do that. Inorder to save me, how could he dedicate his heart to me. I wiped my face and read, "I love you, Laiha. Take care of Us. I love you. Please don't be sad that I'm not with you. Pray for me. All I need is your prayers."

I re-read and cried my heart out as Lunah approached and I gave her my letter. "Laiha, this toy, isn't this our old toy?" She asked, smiling.

I nodded and I let her read the letter. "Laiha, but this..this is wrong. What he did is wrong." She said in a hurry.

I nodded, agreeing to her. "How could he do this to himself. I didn't know his love for you was this deep."

I didn't know for how long, but I cried until I fall asleep. I promise you that I'll be with you till the end. Good luck with your surgery. I wanted to tell you this, please don't wait for me if I'm late. Now I realise why did he say this. He knew that he wouldn't come.

We played with feelings, I lost you won.

Tell me what shall I gift you in return?

You stored your happiness, pain and vain all in this thing that now beats only for me.

You're safe inside my chest, Doraemon.

You're a warrior, fighting for my life.

I'll protect your heart like a Queen do that for her crown. We are one now. You're my pride. You're my crown inside my chest, not in my head. Your heart, my soul.

A caged crown.