Loving me forever | book 2 of autosexual confessional ✔️

One line dating (shit)

There's not very much that I regret in my life but online dating is one of them. It started with Snapchat with a guy name is name is Jay Taylor some thing I don't know but he was a real winner he was cheating on me with his job. In other words he was a fucking workaholic and nothing more than that and I am was pretty sure he was fucking his boss. So I decided to send him a threatening messages email saying that I was Japanese mafia even though I was in just a scare him off he said well if you don't except the fact that I have to work then you should go and I that's when I pulled out the Japanese mafia card and scared him. I don't have my friend who turned out to be a psychopath later on cash to go and threaten him with Guantánamo Bay just for the sake of scaring him off from women. It wasn't my phone and shower and I immediately deleted my Snapchat right away. I'll let you know that I do still have Snapchat to this day but I just use it for the filters for my selfies are there and then I do not use it for socializing very much because I did tracks from the fun part which is the filters. And they were a couple of idiots on IMVU that I've had to deal with over the years they were not very great either they were cheating and they said they weren't and they were telling me that I was beautiful in Soho and really they were fucking some other girl around. It wasn't the best thing either and I felt like a piece of garbage for the first time in my life. I have made plenty of Ass chewers another words Bolis in school and they never even ruin my day half as much is you guys and the online dating world they made me look like a worthless piece of crap sometimes I felt like killing myself because I couldn't find someone that was right for me. It wasn't the best thoughts in the world but it had to be failed at the time and then I tried to date someone internationally meeting outside of North America and that was a shit show all together is the name of the molamin.
Moola mean what is your real monster and ain't nothing more than a player himself who is more interested in ultra kinky sex than anything else. He was nothing but a pain in my ass. He threaten my friend Generra with violence he threaten my friend Annie who is also my boyfriend at the time with violence and he also said that he had pictures of my womanhood like how he did those you're just from porn site and anyone can get those off of a porn site and say that your policy. I wasn't what I really wanted to deal with and I had to tell my mother and she had to actually call in Interpol to get rid of this idiot. He was threatening me all together and I was getting fed up how did I made this clown you ask I am at home on pen pal world end for the longest time I had to get off a penpal world and that was a pain in my ass.
Why was not being on penpal world of pain in my ass because I like to write I like to talk to different people who are halfway decent but I couldn't do that because I have his skanky ass. It turned out that he was an actual mujahadeen and that wasn't too girl one minute my friend said that he doesn't even fear or feel pain that scared the stuffing out of me but there is other problems going on during this time this is the time during the pandemic. My mother was also having second thoughts about her marriage with my father and she was dealing with a Mujahadeen as well. And this house clown was named Mohamady a real piece of shit and I smelled the shit right off of him right away and was able to look at his profile and see that he was not good for anyone never mind my mother and why she was cheating with him I don't know he was a Whabist Or a salafist.
It was a long toxic relationship and toxic stress with this asshole being in my mothers life and I called my mother a psychopath thousand very final words I said to her in person before moving out. I had to move out because the stress was so toxic and horrific. She would blame me for everything and she would drink and when I cup put the 2 to 2 together with the mujahadeen bastard I found out it was him that was causing her to drink brainwashing her to drink. At the time I had disowned her and not even want anything to do with her I thought she was an isis bride. And that was what I thought and I was wishing nothing more than death upon her and that she would suffer dearly for what he was going to put in the world through I thought he was going to be the next bin Laden and I not saying that to sound kooky I'm saying that because I've had to deal with this toxic stress for almost a year with this asshole in our life. So when I found out she was cheating on my father was mujahadeen guy I confronted my father and said you better get rid of your my mother before I do something about this this would not be the only person that I will start disowning as few days ago my ass started acting like an asshole herself not because of the influence of a terrorist but because of the influence over a self and her really foul timbre that makes me look like a goddamn Dalai Lama. It was no joke she was really horrible and threatening me with this sound mountain south in pretty soon she did this three times already and I just saw that I was going to threaten her with this sound mind in my head and then dress blocker off Facebook for the rest of my life and blocker off of my fucking life because I wasn't gonna bother putting up with her shit. I didn't wanna have to do that but she was mentally torturing me and I was not gonna put up with that either at this time me and my mother started talking again and was halfway decent to each other well because I'm outside the goddamn house and she's in a goddamn nursing home for what happened to her. So that being said I was able to talk to my mother and I was able to disown my aunt because it was three times she was ignoring me for something which was an honest mistake I thought.
I guess he thought it was the worst thing in the world and I really don't give a shit about her opinion because she's nothing more than chicken a hater. And I had ask one of my workers should I block my hand. I live in a group home so I ask the workers to help me with things like this particularly my aunt Jane had to deal with me blow my stack over her. 3×3 times she is done this to me where I had to blow my stock.
I have a timer still trying on online gate but that was really something I couldn't stand doing anymore and I decided it was no longer important for me to do online dating I hardly check my POF account or anything else for that matter except for my Facebook email spay say and other social media's but not dating site I cannot share seem to get dating in my head or wraps my head around the idea of dating because of I've been burned.
If I had to go through online dating again and physically get burned let's say it would be third-degree burns all over my body because it wouldn't be just any kind of pain it was an agonizing pain that I went through which I was not too happy about I was 3rd degree burned in the inside but on the outside I was perfectly fine if it was the other way around I would be fucked. So I decided to give up online dating and give up on dating all together because of the asshole and my high school was being a pain in my ass. He was reporting my selfies and reporting my pictures to Facebook and Facebook actually agreed with the asshole and said that he was I was against policy and I had to delete more than one phrase work out the chagrin in my family and friends. It was not a fun time for me to deal with this kind of stuff I was just getting over what my mother was did to me and my father and then I was not gonna put up with any more of her stuff at one point then I didn't want to deal with my hand and I still have a fucking dating app which I should delete but I only used to make friends and I explicitly said they only need friends only not for sex or dating or romance. Pretty soon I will find out that I was going to be able to fill that void myself. A little more on that later. Also I learned about Reiki when I was doing my online dating career and crystals and stuff that's what I learned about and was fascinated with. I start identifying my past lives. I had past lives in Chechnya and then east Turkestan and other areas of the world that are very unique and exotic even Japan and Korea and China were in my spiritual DNA. Not just in my actual DNA.
Pretty soon my past lives got the better of me and I wanted to know more about my actual physical mortal DNA. So I ended up doing the spit test for ancestry.com or ancestry.ca one of the two and a lab finding out that I was Uighur cats noon and Iranian as well as Saudi Arab and eastern European as well as central Asian and Afghan. This is not a joke this is the truth I have been dealt with and I've been pretty proud of my heritage but I still didn't know who the fuck I was in the first place I knew who I was genetically but I didn't know who I was for the sake of knowing who I was is very important to know who the hell you are and deal with yourself in the manner of learning about who you are I never knew who I was I tried all kinds of orientations but never found anyone that was suitable for me. It was getting to the point where I thought I was going to be lonely and not being able to enjoy the same things as other people do but that was beside the point pretty sure I stopped caring about what other people thought about me. And example of this would be when my earlobes splurge was expanding my earlobes one time and this time the earlobe split in a didn't hurt or the shit. The earlobe was into where I have now three earlobes and a dangling part of my skin on my left ear to ear lobes on my left ear in the dang way and one normal looking earlobe on the right of my head and that was the final and I said I'm not going to give a shit about what other people think about this I want to get it pierced and tell them what's really going on which is that it's not going to be sewn up. Plenty of assholes have told me to sew up my ear and I told him to go fuck themselves many times. I wasn't too pleased about telling people to go fuck themselves but I don't believe in physical beauty I believe in the beauty and on the inside. And whatever makes you more unique looking the better I don't really give a shit about what do you think about my 3 ear lobes and my ear is just as long as I enjoy my life. And then I was the damn truth and still is to this day.