Masaru (Monster 5): I have met some of the most INSUFFERABLE people. But, they have also met me.
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Erna (Specimen 13): I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Erna: Weight loss? Drink water.
Erna: Clear skin? Drink water.
Erna: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
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Silas (Specimen 14): I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword (or an axe) didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
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Stina (Hooked Doll): Ugh, there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.
Stina: *Glares at Beppe*
Beppe (Clown): Well, sorry I have morals!
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Otto (Unknown Specimen 2): Wait a minute, how did this happen!? We're smarter than this!
White Face (Unknown Specimen 1): Apparently, we're not.
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Ringu (Specimen 4): Oh god, he texted you "hi." Punctuation only means one thing, Ben. He's mad at you.
Ben (Specimen 6): No, it's Lyre! He's just being grammatically correct!
*Meanwhile*
Lyre (Specimen 8): And then I used a period so he'd know that I'm mad at him.
Rusty (Specimen 11): A period doesn't say "I'm mad," it says "you're dead to me."
Lyre: I stand by my choice.
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Fusako (Demon Child): Hey, can you do me a favor?
Spooky: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.
Fusako: ...You don't even have a legitimate reason?
Spooky: Oh no, I do.
Fusako: Well, what is it?
Spooky: You see, I simply don't give a fuck.
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Bekka (Monster 6): Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
Lisa (Unknown Specimen 5): ...Whyyyy are you eating diiiirt?
Bekka: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.
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Shel (Specimen 3): My head hurts...
Spooky: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
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Gale (Specimen 2): I would never say that my boyfriend is a bitch and I don't like him. That's not true... My boyfriend is a bitch and I like him so much!
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Otto: You want some leftovers?
Tirsiak (Unknown Specimen 4): What are those?
Otto: You've... never had leftovers before?
Tirsiak: No, because I'm not a quitter.
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Ben: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS!
Lyre: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Ben: Oh, I'm sorry, I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Lyre: ...Somehow that's worse.
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Nasher (Specimen 10): Is the Pink Panther a lion?
Bab (Specimen 5): ...Say that again, but slower.
Nasher: I don't get it.
Bab: He's a PANTHER.
Nasher: Is that a type of lion?
Bab: No, it's a fucking panther.
Nasher: *Googles 'panther'* They aren't pink?
Bab: AND LIONS ARE?????
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Hugh (Monster 1): I wanna die...
Dray (Monster 4): We all do, you aren't special.
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Lark (Monster 2): Why were you up yesterday at 3am?
Bekka: How did you know I was up at 3am!?
Dray: We could hear you clapping to the Friends intro EVERY 25 MINUTES.
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Spooky: Behold, my wall of inspirational people!
Silas: ...Is that a picture of yourself?
Spooky: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
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Nasher: Tomorrow's garbage day!!!
Rusty: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
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Nox (Unknown Specimen 3 Parasite): Hey, what's the name of the specimen who lives down in Room 410?
Spooper (Unknown Specimen 3): Uhh, their cat's name is Marci!
Nox: That's not what I asked.
Spooper: ...That's all the information I have.
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White Face: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much!?
Shel: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!
White Face: Well guess what!? Science is stupid bullshit!
Shel: You take that back!
White Face: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.
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Rusty: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll be crying all day.
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Ringu: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Ringu, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
YOU ARE READING
Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion shenanigans
FanficLiterally just me and my many Spooky's-related thoughts. There's not nearly enough SJM content on here so ummm I'm gonna try and change that a bit. Incorrect quotes, headcanons, stories, art, alignment charts, and pretty much anything in between. Al...
