Maybe if this situation was right from the beginning I would have never had reasons to end it.
Maybe if you'd been truthful I would have never had to play Ms inspector gadget, being all investigative and finding that your lies were never ending.
All the times we hashed it out, we still didn't go about things the right way.
Even though you messed up, I still can't fix my mouth to bash the memories that convince me to find you and makeup.
Those not even in a relationship breakups are the worst.
They say if it's meant to be then it'll come back again, but what if you've came back ample times and the story still isn't right?
I can dish out advice like I'm serving up a hot meal, and I'm not one who can't take my own advice but when my heart feels, it blocks the messages from my brain like a shield.
We keep trying to be something that we're not supposed to be.
Trying to be the makers of destiny is only pulling us away from what we're supposed to see, where we need to be.
I love you with my whole entirety and after everything we've been through I didn't think I could ever do anything to this intensity.
Yes I did block you to protect the inner peace within me. Whenever we communicate it's like my world breaks out into chaotic memories and happy pleasantries and then tragic endings.
Forgive me.
Forget me.
Our story is crazy.. puppy love dramatized. Most of the fragments were put together in my mind.
This wasn't the best but it felt good... which is no reason to make a bad thing last.
I went to bat for you in rooms you've never stepped in, I honored your name to people who tried to seek you out as less than, I praised with you over countless blessings and I felt like with you that we were passing our own personal testing.
I'd be lying if I said this wasn't hurting.. but I can't put you first anymore when I'm a good fourth on your list.
It may not seem much but that's a big distance in relation to how high I was holding out every single interaction.
You know who you are, always have.
Then, I didn't know me or the knowledgeable things that I bring and the beauty inside and outside of me... that's changed.
I'm a woman not worth a dime nor anything equating to a small amount of change.
I'm all that and some.
Ms add a little spice to an old school song.
This love thing isn't new, it's something that's gone down in history.
Instead of continuing on with settling, it's time to start looking out for me and make a story in time where I can tell my daughters that "mommy was there once.. and I can help you through your hard times"
Love sometimes lies.
- Donna
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𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭
PoetryA collection of poems and thoughts of a young black girl, expressing herself in a very open and honest way about her experiences and feelings.