𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Congrats.

May seventh, twenty-twenty three, a day like many others I've seen.

A day full of pained feelings and harsh realities, breaking me away from the fantasy I walk in, doing my best to hold on to my faith.

Feeling your heart break is a hurt like no other... and I had to remind myself that every child is a blessing and I give my best wishing for the mothering of his baby...

For the times they'll hear their child's first heart beat, allowing for them and all of their emotions to sync, realizing their compatibility and deciding to build on history.

For others to be happy I silence my misery.

Ball up internally and physically.. my tears literally drowning me, rapidly falling and drenching my cheeks, while my head begins aching.

Theirs a list of things in this world that I can say truly surprised me.. and this goes at the top.

To think that this pain had stopped, the moment we began to talk.. it returned, turning my stomach in knots.

I felt for you.. and me.

To know you were hurting really messed with my spiritual being.

and oh.. some of the things that were said still run through my head.. I can't believe that you're leaving.

Trying to tell myself that I'm ok, continuing on day to day, I fell to my knees harder than you can believe.

I wanted to scream as my tears streamed.

Praying and begging God to relieve me, cleanse my heart and make me feel no more.

Deal with no more.

Live here,
no more.

This is something you've had time to process, take in and grow to understand, but for me, this information hit like a heavy gust of wind from the biggest of fans.

I cheered you on even when you could care less about checking in, I think i deserve the title of being your biggest fan, I think I do want that pat on the back and a clap of your hands.

How the hell could you let this happen!?

and you kept it from me.

Hurting me with every passing day we didn't speak.

I know what I said,
I know that I said I'm not upset but man...

This is f***** up.

Yea it'll all work out for you in the end.. but what about me?

All of the things that we shared ever so deeply, do they really mean anything?

Don't even bother responding..
a six month wait gives me all the answers I need.

Congratulations...
on the new addition to the family.

- Donna