𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Ive got a friend.. in him.

Gods been a good friend to me.

He's really shown me a love that no living being could give with a life full of time, commitment, passion or sympathy.

He's revealed to me many epiphanies and delivered me from countless of things, washing me over and making me clean showering me with thousands of blessings.

Having the honor to be cleaned by his hand, I've betrayed the only man that could ever truly understand.

The only man that'd take my left hand and understand why I must wait until that ring is placed there and the only man that can ever be a true father figure, and want to care for me the way my own should have.

That very hand he sees as worthy is dirty.

Heart all cut up and bruised and my body reflecting that same image too.

All of me he loves. Through sickness, tainted actions and any other thing I find disgusting to him is all old news.

He listens to me when I feel like the whole world wants nothing to do with me.

He's there.

Combing through every piece of my kinky hair, wiping every single tear and holding me in his arms until I forget about all of my fears.

He's cleared a path for me and even though I turned and walked on to what I thought was supposed to be my destiny, he did it again, urging me to follow in where he leads.

No matter how much I stray, he still believes in little ol' me.

My dreams being nothing without the strength he's given to me, even sitting here and saying these words are all because of the love he's shown me.

I've let a lot of people down.

Maybe even burned some bridges,

but, the one person who has always forgiven me, the one person who's never cursed, neglected, manipulated or ignored me,

Was the friend that I've done the worst of things.

And Lord, I can't even say if it won't happen again..

But I beg of you, to please never let go of my hand.

Everybody talking about toxicity and freeing themselves from those things, I'm grateful you haven't fled from me.

You're not tired of me filling your ears with wishful thinking about me getting it right this time, and really appreciating you for all things glorifying, but when you try to give me any minor inconvenience I'm questioning and wondering why me...

Lord I'm sorry.

You're not tired of me not being happy when you've given me all things joyful and inspiring.

You've given me your heart and I tore it apart, trying to give it to others who don't even believe in the things that you've done.

Slandering your name, doing everything under the sun and giving the moon a full show.

I hope you don't send me where I don't want to go.. even if I've done the things you clearly told me not to.

and as bad as it may be.. i have a feeling that even then, when my judgement is said, you will take pity on me.

Taking in all my sin and trying to see me as the woman you'd wanted me to be.

Because thats simply who you are..
the greatest friend a girl like me could ever need.

- Donna