•♤• ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟 ℂ𝕣𝕚𝕞𝕖 : 𝕋.𝔻.𝔻 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 •♤•

•♤• ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣 : 𝔼𝕟𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 •♤•

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Valentines day.

A day filled to the brim with genuine types of love. May it be platonic, romantic, familial, or much more.

It leaves a tinge of bitterness on the tip of my tongue. I am never one to be solemn and envious of these types of situations, but it does take a great tole on you as time goes on.

After all, I've been single for as long as I can remember. Not even at my previous life had I experience any sentimental romance to another being.

I was all to focus on my academics and being set on a little corner reading. Still, it didn't limited me to having an experience of an actual attraction to someone, alas my mind couldn't bring itself to call it an actual intimate feeling.

Perhaps the word "hopeless" would suit me best.

I long to have a romantic and sentimental attraction but I couldn't bring myself to even at the point of turning ones affection down all because I thought of it being nothing but a prank to get my hopes up.

This led me to sigh, the pen on the tip of my fingers tapping gently at the blank paper. Yet again, I've deem myself bored of mind to even start another entry. Another poem.

Perhaps it would be best to set it down and enjoy this heartfelt day, if I could that is. Ivan had long went to the store to buy more supplies whereas the other two are yet again not to be seen.

Alone as always.

Hope.. Romance.. Valentines..

Alright, my mind had been set. The words formed as my finger glide against the paper. Forming sentences to paragraphs, helplessly letting this uncovered feeling to blossom.

" Today is the day filled with hope while I began to mope.

A day filled with flowery bouquets, chocolate filled boxes and hand written letters. I stay in hope for something better.

Something better to begin this lovesickness they oh so call.

But who am I kidding when I have no one to fall !

Today is filled with poetry to end this love they all like to portray.

Love is much like poison, or what they all come to say for it is the price that many are willing to pay.

Drink it to your hearts content ! Until the poison settles and then you'll feel the ache that leaves a dent. A dent on your heart where the love that you once felt left.

A never ending cycle of thoughtless clouds around your mind.

And finally, your mind comes to decide that love isn't meant for you. Until then will you understand that one day, one day, that love wasn't meant to stay. "

Too consumed on my writing, I failed to notice the soft footsteps approaching until Ivan's voice echoed along the hollow walls.

" Y/n ! Could you please come here for a moment." Setting the paper and pen to the side, I sped off to where Ivan was.

" Ah ! Dear," He offered a smile but it was clear to me that he had something else in mind. The very thought made my head ache.

" It seems that my hand had slip. I must've forgotten the new wrench at the store, would you please be a dear and retrieve it."

I could only sigh, choosing to do it now than to settle for a later time. Grabbing a coat, I waited for Ivan to give the address as he hastily written it down. I suppose this could allow me to let lose and find other words to fill the poem when I return.

A cold afternoon breeze came waltzing me along the path way to the store, my head down with the hood on. My gaze stilled at the flowers being sold, chocolates being eaten and couples holding onto each other still in a loving gaze.

This is going to be a long walk.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Setting the wrench to the side, I walked out of the room and proceeded to hang my coat to the rack. The walk was nothing out of the ordinary, it was just exhausting feeling many humans at the same place at a time. I had forgotten how I too am, or was, human.

Being with the other two really does take a great effect to you.

Regardless of that, I need to finish up the last piece of the poem. A swing to my movement swayed as I approach the table. It was abrupted when an unfamiliar hand writing filled the last piece of the paper.

The writing was new to me, I never once saw it. Ivan's writing was hasty and a bit crooked where as Polakov and Paris I have never saw but I doubt they'd even bother writing.

A hesitant touch of my fingers slowly pulled the paper up. An unwanted feeling rose in me. Someone who wrote on my paper was not something to brag about, but it was their words that made me swoon.

" How strange, you speak as though love is some sort of disease that plagues your mind but for me it was something that I had to become blind.

Today is filled with mysteries and admiration.

Your eyes stared down at the paper, your fingers gliding against the texture as I stare from a far. And then I had realize how much intrigued am I of who you truly are.

How beneath that cold gaze of yours was more than a warmth that filled me. Your eyes were nothing but the windows of a darken moonlight and the mysteries of every book you've read.

To where I stare at the words you've formed to endless constellations that swept your midnight mind and listen to your wordless voice. And only then have I realized that I thought of me be capable of loving you. "

Every word burned and ache. Not once had I thought of someone writing back at the papers, it seems like I had misunderstood someone. The very thought twisted within me, the thought of someone capable of loving me was a surprise.

There was no one else who could've written back, Ivan is out of the picture when it comes to this circumstances which leads out the other two.

The clown and the puppet.

I sat on the stool in utter silence. Wondering what to do next. Should I call for them ? Ask either of them if they were the ones who decided to continue my work ? Confess to them ??

I don't know what to do but my body feels like it knew. Staring longingly at the paper, the ink coming from the pen formed to letters until it stopped.
Just three words.

Three words describing what I've felt for all those times I've been a coward to confess. For all the times that I had to push someone's feelings aside because of how protective I was for a love that I've never once experienced.

I always knew that love is risky. Taking everything you've had to someone else, in hopes that they'd be the one. I knew all too well that it'll hurt like a bullet but I was too much of a coward to even say it.

Just these three words that I have wanted to say to someone. Someone that I knew wouldn't even begin to even so like me back yet I dared to write it. I stayed still yet again wondering if I've written the right words but I left the paper and pen to go up the attic in hopes they'd never see me now.

I'll throw the paper at the bin by morning. If its still there by dawn.

" Then love me."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Stay sweet ~♥︎

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.