"A thanks to all my tears
Who were always there in my darkest times when I was alone."
This book is not about my pathetic pitied self. Perhaps that's all they'll ever see me as, perhaps they'll always assume that I was the victim. Perhaps this will...
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After realizing that perhaps my feelings for him were more intense than I had originally thought, I tried to avoid him. But the thing was, I just couldn't live without interacting with him.
And there was a fear in my stomach of what would happen if he stopped trying to talk to me and started avoiding me too.
So, I kept on talking to him. He was my friend after all.
Everything was so confusing. I hadn't felt this way when we were dating, or before that or ever for any guy. And now, everything was just so confusing.
And he was so confusing too.
One minute, he'd act like he was into me, like he cared, and the next, he would say something or do something that would shatter my heart and esteem.
He kept on breaking me, over and over again, and I let him.
I knew I should break the cycle.
I knew I should put it to an end.
I knew I should never talk to him again.
But I was too far gone.
And I was going to an exhibition with him where I would have to spend a night, and I had no choice. I couldn't say no just because he was coming too. I couldn't give him that much power over me.
But before the trip, there was something else important.
A dance.
I asked Beethoven out that day and he didn't mind, I knew he would say yes. We were going as friends and he knew that.
At lunch, Reece and I were just hanging around each other when he asked me, "Who are you going with?"
His scrutinizing gaze, and the way he looked at me gave away the real question, Are you going with someone. Or something like, Has anyone asked you out, yet?
"With Beethoven," I replied, looking straight into his eyes. For a second, they seemed to have gotten...darker? I could've probably imagined it though.
"Good." He paused for a moment before saying, "How should I ask Amy out?"
"Well, you can just simply go up to her and say it. Or, you can decorate her locker, stuff it with rose petals and have a cute little girl, or your sister, ask her out for you with a guy carrying a poster reading, 'will you go out with me?' And then you can yourself appear with a red rose in your hand."
The way he looked at me.
I could capture it and frame it.
It was so hilarious, and well, you get it, right?
Classic Reece response.
I smirked a little at his reaction despite how I felt. I had a date, why was I so upset he wanted Amy as his?
