Behind My Shadow - Book Three

3. It's Miserable & Magical

"You excited for your first Labor, lady?" Bishop eagerly asks me in the morning. The burly Leonberger pup sits at the foot of my bed and watches me pace anxiously back and forth before my mirrored wall.

"Huh? Excited? Sure," I mumbled distractedly, biting the back of my knuckle as my thoughts race. How the hell am I supposed to do this?! My very first Labor is impossible to complete! I have to perform my Talent in front of the spectators. Now in theory, this should be easy. This is -in fact- supposed to be the easiest of all the Labors. I mean, who doesn't know what their Talent is, amiright?

Oh but wait. That's right. I don't know what my Talent is.

Yeah. Yikes.

"How am I supposed to do this?" I anxiously whisper, I can feel the tears of defeat welling up in my eyes. I must be the worst Alice in all of history! I don't know what my freakin' Talent is! I'm already failing the first Labor! If I can't perform a miracle and figure out what the hell my Talent is and display it for the world by the end of the day than I'm dead. Literally. I made that freakin' blood oath with the magical scroll!

I think I'm hyperventilating.

"Lady?" Bishop sits up straighter. "You alright?"

"Yeah," I pant, absently rubbing my throbbing heart. My entire chest aches and I feel like I could vomit at any second. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's cool, I'm just having a mild heart attack but yeah." I shrug sharply. "All's good," I wobblily kneel and hide my face behind my hands with a shaky moan. "Bishop...I'm so dead!"

"Hey, easy there, lady! There'll be no dyin' on my watch now, ya hear?" He springs off the bed and hurries over to me. I frantically wipe at my eyes so he won't see me crying but the moment he bumps his head into my arm for reassure, I start sobbing and throw my arms around his neck. He squeaks with surprise and wriggles in my embrace but I refuse to let him go just yet.

"I-I don't know what my freaking Talent is!" I shakily confess.

"What?" He yelps, wiggling to break free. "But you told the White Knights your Talent is playin' the guitar!"

"I know what I said but I lied!" I cry.

"I didn't know you could lie, lady!" He finally manages to escape my crushing hug.

"Oh, Bishop! I'm so dead! I'm gonna die and I'm gonna disappoint everyone and I-I am gonna...gonna die a failure and...and -"

"Ain't no one dyin', lady," he rolls his eyes. "Hey, stop that cryin'," he paws at my arm. "Everythin' ain't so bad, lady. You'll figure it out," he wags his tail. "You always figure things out."

I sniffle and rub my eyes.

"Remember how you cured your Blood Dreams?" He puts his paws on my knees to stand up so we're practically nose to nose. "Everyone said that was impossible but you done it! You're the only Blood Betrothed that's managed to heal themselves! That's somethin', lady!"

"I-I guess," I wipe my nose. "But...but what about my Talent?"

"Maybe makin' medicine is your Talent?" He tilts his head hopefully.

"I wish," I shake my head. "At leastwise that'd be something. But Cornelius said I'd feel it when it happens. It'd be like some big glorious aha moment. I didn't feel any sorta special connection or whatever to the cure when I was making it."

"Well..." he trails off as he looks around for inspiration. "What do ya have a connection with, lady?"

"I dunno," I swallow hard. "Music, I guess but I've already played the guitar and the piano since I've been here and nothing magical happened..." I glance at the grand piano in the corner of my bedroom.

"Oh," his ears droop for a second before they perk up again. "Maybe you just haven't played the right instrument yet!"

I smile wearily and shake my head. "I mean, I love it but I don't think my Talent's playing instruments, buddy." I stroke his velvety ears before I drag myself off the floor. I have a professional crew of dressers and makeup artists these days that'll glam me up for each Labor. My appointment with them is rapidly closing in which means my Labor is soon after. "What am I gonna do...?" I stare out over the balcony at the ocean rhythmically crashing like cymbals in the distance.

"Well, umm... Oh! The White Knight said that your Talent will be somethin' you do all the time without even realizin' it, remember? He said it'll be like second nature."

"Yeah, I remember that." I shrug, absently running a hand through my long curls.

"So...uh, what do you do all day?"

"Lately?" I snort. "Lately all I've been doing is training my ass off. Oops, sorry," I blush, suddenly remembering he's just a puppy. "I mean, I've been training my rump off."

Bishop snorts with an eyeroll. "Spare me your censorship, lady."

"Ooh, big word," I snicker.

"So what are ya gonna do?" He woofs. "You gotta figure out somethin' soon!"

"I know, I know," I nod anxiously and rub my temples. "I'm thinking, I'm thinking..."

"Well," he hops to his paws. "Sometimes when I need to think about somethin' important, I go for a run. Whaddya say, lady? Up for a sprint?"

"I mean, yeah, I sometimes run while I think too... But go without me. I don't want anyone to see me on the verge of a panic attack."

Bishop hesitates, glancing briefly at the door before watching me pace manically back and forth. "Nah... I'll sit here with you, lady." He lays on the floor and chews the pad of his foot as he watches me. "You shouldn't be alone with all this fluff on your plate."

I smile despite myself and shake my head. Puppies make the most loyal BFFs. A few moments later -weary of pacing and deafened by the thunderous thoughts clashing in my brain like an awry concert- I flop down on my bed, covering my face with my pillow in hopes of slowing my panicked breathing.

Deep breathes, Adara, deep breathes... I try to coach myself. Yeah, the entire world is counting on me surviving all eighteen of the Labors and yeah, Mom is being held captive somewhere under a magical spell waiting for me to rescue her, but that's no excuse to have a total, hysterical, debilitating meltdown just because I have no clue what my Talent is...

I groan with agony and toss the pillow aside, raking my hands through my hair as I stare beseeching at the ceiling. Hot tears run down my face despite my best efforts to stop crying. I anxiously wipe my eyes. Nothing is going to get solved if I just lay here bawling, I chide myself. God, I gotta clear my head and think of something.

I force myself to take a deep breath and run my hand down my face as I start to softly hum in effort to calm myself. The balmy oceanic breeze that sweeps in from the balcony gently stirs the crystal chandelier and a soft melody breathes through the air like a whisper. I keep humming, lulling myself into a semi state of grace. Lyrics dance before my closed eyes and a melody pours from my ears.

I know it's all in my head, but now I can hear music soothingly resounding around me as if my very room has come to life to play me a lullaby while I whisper-sing to myself.

Bishop abruptly startles me with a yelp.

"Whoa!" He exclaims. "Lady, look! Are you seein' this?" He excitedly demands.

"Seeing what?" I swiftly sit up.

"That!" He briefly hops on his hind legs, pointing at the ceiling with his muzzle.

I tilt my head back and gasp with amazement as I see a faint shimmer of lights -reminiscent of the aurora borealis- dancing across the vaulted ceiling. They fade a heartbeat later. So does the music that I only now realize was not in my head.

"What was that?" Bishop eagerly looks between me and the ceiling for answers.

"What...was that?" I glance at my pup and back to where the lights disappeared. "Huh..." I stare up at the arches again as I cautiously resume humming. A flicker of light dances across the ceiling like a rainbow bouncing off a mirror. It disappears the moment I stop humming. I slowly smile as realization dons on me. "I think I just figured out what my Talent is."