Behind My Shadow - Book Three

16. I'm Not Fine at All

"Vyndren is not a monster," I quickly correct Yvett. "He's a Vampire, yeah, and he's done a lot of questionable things, yes, but you can't call him a monster!" I insist. Yvett looks taken aback that I snapped at her. "I have no idea who this Red Knight is," I anxiously glance at Sofiena. "And I have no idea what he did to you, but I promise you, Vyndren is nothing like his father."

Yvett snorts. "Nothing like his father," she repeats with contempt. "You're right. I dare say that bloodsucker of yours is worse than the Red Knight. Sorry, Sofiena," she briefly gives the other girl a sympathetic look before rounding on me again. "Do you even know the half of the horrible things that monster has done since his time as a Vampire? Well?" She snaps before I can even answer. "Do you?!"

"No!" I anxiously exclaim. "I mean -"

"Ha! That's what I thought! Look here, girls!" Yvett points at me as if I'm on trial. "This World Walker -that doesn't even study Raetri history- has just admitted that she doesn't know anything about the crimes of that disgusting creep she calls a boyfriend has committed! She's oblivious! She's an idiot!"

"Hey!" I suddenly feel my temper ignite. "I am not an idiot! And I am not on trial here for Vyndren's crimes! You're supposed to be judging me for this Labor! Not him! Leave him out of this!"

"And she's so defensive and protective over it!" Yvett continues. "Ladies, I think what we have here is a delusional little girl that's already been tainted and manipulated by the enemy!" She declares. I gasp with outrage and horror. "I vote we do not let this...this Vampire lover pass this Labor!"

"No!" I frantically exclaim.

"The last thing Raetri needs is a weak, selfish Alice that only cares about herself and lets her psychotic boyfriend boss her around!"

"No, that's not true!" I wildly insist. "That isn't -"

"If we let her have the Throne of Swords," Yvett rants on. "Would we just be handing over the keys to the world to a filthy Vampire?!"

"No!" I desperately try to speak over her. "I would never -"

"Are you trying to tell me you wouldn't let that heathen come and go as it pleases from the Palace?" She rounds on me again. "Are you telling me it wouldn't take advantage of your weakness and continue its reign of terror on the citizens of Raetri!"

"Stop it! He's not like that!" I feel tears burning my eyes.

"Really?" She scoffs. "You really are blind then, girl!"

"Yvett, c'mon," Alice shakes her head at her. "Don't be so -"

"So what? So what?!" Yvett turns on her now. "So protective of our home? So protective of our Throne? Our persons? Our way of life?! Mother, don't you see?! Adara is not cut out to be the next Alice! She stands here crying," she savagely gestures as me. "Because she can't fight back! There is nothing she can say in defense for that Vampire and there is nothing she can say that will magically avenge Adarina! She is not going to be the next Alice!" She thunders.

I suddenly sob and turn away from them, hiding my face in my hands.

"Adara -" Sofiena reaches for me but I anxiously -instinctively- run away.

"Adara, wait!" Inez calls after me but I keep running.

I desperately run down the wisteria tunnel -finally far enough away from them that I can't hear Yvett's rant anymore- before I collapse to my knees and sob achingly into my hands.

What is wrong with me?! Why did I ever think I'd be able to pass this Labor? Or any of the Labors! Vyndren was wrong about me... I can't do this. I'm not strong enough to carry the weight of this world on my back. Yvett was right...

I'm not cut out to be the next Alice.