Only have one hour...just one hour to complete the second Labor. Has it been an hour yet? It feels like I've been trapped in this dark chamber forever. And now to make matters worse, I've broken the mirror that I need to finish this.
I melt to the floor with a hoarse sob. What have I done? God, she was right... I am a failure. I hide my face in my hands as I cry. It's all come down to this and I've let everyone down, everyone worked so hard just getting me to this moment in one piece and now I've ruined it. What have I done...?
I lean back against another mirror with a shaky exhale, gazing up at the dark ceiling with numb pain. I'm so sorry, Mom, Dad...Quill. I'm sorry Bishop and I'm...I'm so sorry, Vyndren. You would've figured this out by now. You would've taken control of the whole scene from the start and would've been finished by now. You would've... My thoughts taper away as I take in my surroundings again.
Wait a second. I only broke one mirror. These other mirrors may have been conquered already but still, I think I might be able to use one to finish my Labor.
I anxiously hop to my feet and turn to face my glowing reflection. There're tear stains on my face but a spark of determination shines in my eyes. "Anger? I know you're there," I say to my reflection. "Afterall, you are me. And you were right," I pause as I brush the tears off my face. "You were right. I am angry, and I do push it down and hope that it will go away but that's not how emotions work. You can't just..." I shrug helplessly as I look around for inspiration. "You can't just bury things and expect them to disappear." I meet my eyes in the mirror again. "Anger is kinda like a seed, you can bury it and hide it from sight but it's still there, and it's still growing. One day it'll break through the surface as an entirely new entity and you won't even recognize it."
The silence that fills the Chamber of Reflection is almost as deafening as the calamity that overflowed from it merely a moments ago.
"I guess a part of me is angry at Mom for keeping secrets from me. I mean," I anxiously stroke my hair. "Yeah, a head's up would've been nice. I feel so underprepared and overwhelmed by everything here in Raetri and I can't help but think I would've been so much better off had she at leastwise told me a few stories about this place..." I take a deep breath, willing my temper not to return. "But when I sit down and think about it... Mom only did what she did because she loves me. She let me grow up like a normal kid. She gave me a chance to be myself that I wouldn't have had here. I could be angry at her for keeping things from me, but honestly I'd rather just be grateful that she loves me as her daughter and didn't raise me as an Alice."
I shakily smile as I stroke the mirror. "I used to hate myself because I thought I wasn't cool enough, or talented enough, or pretty enough to be noticed. I was too afraid to use my voice because I didn't know what it would sound like. But I do have a voice now, and I'm tired of hating myself. It might take me my whole life to gain the confidence it'll take to love myself, but I'm ready to start learning.
"And yeah, I have fallen down a few times, but that doesn't make me a failure. I've learned to love climbing back up to my feet, brushing myself off and fighting harder than I did before. And even if I'm pushed back down, I won't stay down, I've never had to stay down, even if I keep getting knocked down. The bullies, the challenges, they will get tired of pushing me before I get tired of standing back up. I know I'm not perfect, and I never will be, and I know I'll lose my temper again. I know I'll disappoint myself from time to time, but I'm done with punishing myself. I'm tired of fighting myself, of hating myself. I'm letting go my resentment." I vow to my reflection. "I'll never be able to heal anyone else if I can't heal myself, and I wanna start now."
The floor beneath my feet suddenly starts quaking violently.
I shriek as I stagger to one side. It feels like the entire Palace is being shaken from the inside out. I teeter into a mirror and now -as swiftly as it began- the tremors fade away, leaving behind nothing more than a few shivering shockwaves.
"Whoa!" I laugh with awe as I stumble up to my feet. The earthquake instantly reminds me of when I completed my first Labor. Does that mean...?
Suddenly the door to the Chamber of Reflections unseals itself and blindingly white light pours in. I can hear the crowds beyond the door celebrating and cheering.
Omigod! I did! I laugh with relief and press my shaking hands to my mouth. I did it! I accomplished my second Labor! I stumble for the door, desperately eagerly to leave this dark chamber far behind.
Right as I cross the threshold, I'm suddenly greeted by a powerful, icy blast of wind.
It ripples through my entire body and briefly -for a fleeting second that somehow feels like it lasts an eternity- I feel every single emotion I've ever felt cut loose throughout my bloodstream.
I gasp as press my hands to my temples, nearly rocked off balance by the tumult of feelings. But now everything neatly files themselves away, awaiting to be summoned at my next command.
"Whoa!" I smile with disbelief as I look myself over. I don't look any different, but I certainly feel different. I've never felt so...centered or grounded or in control of my own emotions like this before. It's amazing! My emotions now have as much dexterity and control as my own fingers do.
Everything I feel is balanced, but so powerful and potent, it's like now my colors are vibrant and vivid, but I can choose who all sees them. People can't get a reaction out me anymore!
"Incredible..." I breathe.
It's almost strange -sensational- but strange to have this much self-control.
I feel joy erupting inside of me yet my face and composure is calm and relaxed, I can tell, I can just feel it. But I put my walls down and a huge smile beams on my face as I walk out of the room, now I am able to project a calm, confident and happy aura that can practically be seen with the naked eye.
This is soo crazy cool to be able to project something as powerful as emotion! Like whoa, the possibilities are endless what I can say and do now. Like, whatever I want, I can channel, I can control. Proof! Mind blown. I'm so ecstatic! I could be exploding into my happy dance right now but I elect to remain humble and gracious as I wave and blow kisses to the cheering crowds watching me descend the stairs into their midst.
I truly have conquered my second Labor, it's almost too much to process. But Vyndren was right, I really do feel more powerful than ever after completing each one. Hell, right now I feel excited to start the next one.

YOU ARE READING
Behind My Shadow - Book Three
FantasyThe day has finally donned for Adara to complete the sacred Eighteen Labors of Alice to prove her merit to Raetri and secure her rightful place on the Vorpal Throne! But Adara feels like she's playing against a stacked deck. While struggling to conq...