Behind My Shadow - Book Three

41. It Feels Like One of Those Nights

I plummet through blinding darkness with a scream before I impact with some sort of body of water.

It's definitely an ocean, I think as I struggle to swim against the tide. I burst through the surface sputtering, anxiously treading water as I look around wildly.

I know this place! I laugh with relief and amazement. I'm back at the Palace! I can see it on top of Pleasance Island. I eagerly start swimming for shore.

♣ ♦ ♥ ♠

"Congratulations, my dear!" Dad praises me again. "I can't tell you how proud I am of you," he gazes at me affectionately.

We're in his office in front of the fireplace. I'm nestled down in a pile of blankets on the couch. Dad has made us some tea and I've been devouring these little sandwiches he put out on a platter.

"Thank you, honestly I kinda surprised myself out there," I admit, holding a warm teacup between my hands as I thoughtfully stare into the crackling fire. "I guess I really have changed a lot since day one."

"You are an inspiration to us all, my dear," Dad takes his place in the wingchair beside the couch. Naturally my dad was the first person I wanted to see after returning from the wilderness. It's technically the middle of the night but he was already awake when I made it up here to his office. My hearts warms at the thought of him eagerly awaiting my return. I can't imagine he slept much these past four nights worrying about me out there in the wilds all alone.

There's supposed to be a big party in the morning to celebrate before I have to compete in my eleventh Labor.

"What do you think it'll be like?" I glance at my father. "The eleventh Labor, I mean... I'll have to duel the ghosts of the White Knights of the past. Got any pointers? I've never been in a sword fight with four of the greatest warriors in all of Raetri before. I can't imagine facing them all at once..." I gulp as I stare into the fire again.

"You'll do swimming, my dear," Cornelius assures me. "Just trust your instincts, they will never fail you."

"I'm still getting used to my instincts," I confess with a soft chuckle. "I'm so used to...being powerless that sometimes I forget how much power I actual have."

"You were never powerless, my dear," he tells me gently. "You just needed to find your voice."

I smile and shake my head. "Thanks. Hey, I um...I was kinda hoping maybe Quill would be here. Or Bishop, but I guess they're probably asleep, right?"

"I believe your canine has been spending this time comforting Queen Lyna and...as for Quill..." He trails off, staring distractedly into the fire.

"Is he alright?" I swallow hard. "I mean... I know he's still heartbroken about his mother -we all are- but is he...taking care of himself?"

Dad heaves a sigh and leans back in his chair. "I'm afraid I wouldn't know," he says quietly.

"What? What do you mean?" I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Quill's not here, he left shortly after you did -"

"OMG! Where is he?!" I anxiously sit up. "It's been days! Has anyone heard from him?" I frantically demand.

Dad slowly shakes his head. "He wrote his mum a letter saying he'd return shortly, and all he left me was a note on my desk. He said he couldn't just sit by knowing that there are Black Hearts among us here at the Palace. He said he felt as though our hands are tied with too many technicalities to be able to put a stop to them."

"What does that mean?" I furrow my brow.

He briefly glances at me, now looks away with another sigh. "I'm afraid I don't know what to think... It's not in his nature to go rogue but...I've never seen him so devastated before. His mothers were the most important persons in his life, now that he lost one of them, I'm afraid he probably feels like he's lost a piece of himself. I know that pain only all too well..." He trails off, briefly hiding his face in his hand with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Adara," he manages a faint smile though I can still sense his pain. "I didn't want this to overshadow your marvelous moment of victory."

"No, it's...it's alright," I can feel my heart aching for Quill. "I mean, it's far from alright but I don't know what I can do. Is there anything I can do?" I search his eyes desperately.

"Quill promised he'd be back to see you before your final Labors, my dear," Dad takes my hand to squeeze. "You should try not to fret about him. He's...more than capable of taking care of himself," he says after a beat. But I know Dad's heart aches as much as mine does for the missing White Knight apprentice. Quill is like his son, I know it, I can sense it, I can see it. "Why don't you try to rest, love, before your celebration in the morning?"

"I don't feel much like celebrating..."

He squeezes my hand before he gets up. "We must focus on the things right in front of us for the time being, my dear. You've had a great trial these past few days. You really should try to take advantage of a moment's peace while you can."

I reluctantly nod and hop to my feet. "I guess you're not wrong." He smiles with a shake of his head. "You should get some rest too," I carry on as he tries to object. "I know you've been worrying yourself sick over me and Quill, but we're going to be okay." I take his hands in mine briefly. "I promise. We'll...we'll all be okay. This is almost over, Dad."

He holds my stare for a moment before bowing his head. "Aye, it does feel like it is almost over at long last."

"Now get some rest, White Knight Sire, that's an order," I wink as I pull away.

He smiles a bit and salutes me. "As you wish, My Alice."