Before We Were Fifty

Chapter 2

Waking up the next morning, my body feels like it's been run over by truck. Looking around, I am, of course, alone. Fuck, this was a dumb idea. Sitting up, I'm about to swing my pained legs out from underneath the blankets, but the door opens up and Jamie walks in with a tray of food. He looks relaxed in his jeans and red tee shirt. Coming over to me, he sets the foor tray on the bedside table and sits on the edge of the bed beside me.

"Mornin'. How ya feelin'?" He sweetly kisses my cheek and then sits back. It's odd. One moment he was really angry with me last night and this morning he's so sweet.

"Sore..." His eyes cast downward ashamed as he plays with his hands. "But I'm good."

"Dakota..." I love when he says my name. "I'm sorry about how I acted last night. I shouldn't have..."

"Okay, people over react." His eyebrows furrow and he glares at me.

"I was gonna say I'm sorry I did that to ya...I didn't over react. You should've told me." He stands up and I can't believe we're having this conversation.

"You did over react and I'm not sorry."

"Last night was..."

"Was what? A mistake? Jamie, if you can't handle taking someone's virginity, who was willing, then..."

"Jesus, I basically forced myself on you..."

"I suggested it. I.."

"You're just a child, what do you know." He growls and I raise my eyebrows. This argument is ridiculous. Getting up, I shrug out of his clothes and toss them at his face. Painfully, I walk to the other side of the bed and grab my dress and underwear off the floor. Changing in the bathroom, I'm so mad. He thinks I'm a child? I'm 23 for Pete's sake! Walking out of the bathroom, he's sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. When he sees me, he stands up and comes towards me as I grab my heels and head down stairs. "Dakota, wait!"

I keep walking forward and never look back. Getting to the door, I slam it behind me and start walking. He's jogging behind me and at the corner of the street, he gets in front of me.

"What do you want!" I snap at him and he stands up straight.

"Come back and talk to me."

"No! I don't need you treating me like a child." I try to walk around him and he grabs my hand.

"WHAT!"

"At least let me take you home."

"YOU ALREADY DID!" I yell and a few of his neighbors glance over at us and I break away from him and find a cab, hailing it down, and jumping inside. As the driver heads down the street I turn around and watch Jamie disappear into the background. I begin to cry, but I don't understand it. He wasn't mine. He never was going to be mine. I never want to feel this way again. I never want to feel so broken and let down. Getting home, I march upstairs and to my room. Michelle's not even home- figures. Oh well, I wanna be alone anyway. I need to be alone- always.

**FIVE WEEKS LATER**

Racing to the restroom, I puke my guts up again and again. What the fucking fuck! This is the third day in a row that I have been feeling shitty like this. The first time it happened was when Michelle and I went out to lunch. Yesterday it was before I went to bed and now it's this morning as I began brushing my hair. I just feel so sick to my stomach that I feel I'm going to blow up. Sitting away from the toilet, I wipe my mouth and shut the lid. Flushing the throne, I stand and go to the sink, washing out my mouth and letting the water pour past my lips. Staring into the mirror, my face droops and I feel worse than before.