Before We Were Fifty

Chapter 17:

Darkness. Pain. Deafening silence.

"Dakota, wake up." A soft voice calls to me and I know not who it is. A small white light is coming slowly into focus, but my body feels numb.

"Who is it?"

"It's Dakota!" Who is talking? I don't see anyone.

"Dakota come over here and watch the clouds with us!" Clouds? I haven't cloud watched in years. The light gets brighter and I see someone who looks familiar, but also very different.

"Dakota, I'm sorry you found out late.But I'm alright now. And you will be too. Come watch the clouds with us."

Calvin.

Wait. Am I dead? Dead! I can't be dead! How? Oh, my heart. But, but I didn't get to see Lukas grow up. I don't know if Jamie's okay. I can't be dead!

"Come on Dakota- there's one that looks like an elephant. Your favorite- remember!" The silence is now filled with ominous music- something that's indescribably beautiful. As I inch closer, I stop. Am I ready for this? To abandon my baby? My family? The love of my life?

Backing up, I hear the voice getting more irritated, but softer. My body isn't numb any more but ringing with pain. I still can't see anything but darkness, but the comforting sound of my heart bleeping on the monitor proves me safe.

**Two Hours Later**

"Mmm?" Stretching, I slowly sit up and feel as if a truck was sitting on my chest. "Fsss, ow."

"Dakota?" His voice is weak, but I know it well. A casted hand reaches over an pulls back the curtain. Oh the pain it brings me to see Jamie casted, bruised, and defeated. Tears spring in my eyes and I feel my world slowly coming back together. "Don't cry baby. Please don't cry."

"I thought I lost you..."

"On the contrary, I lost you." Reality hits me like that truck.

"So... I did die?"

"Your heart failed about two weeks ago. They actually just had a guy pass away from natural causes and transplanted the heart as quickly as possible. They weren't sure if it would be acceptable for your body- I was so scared...they kept you in isolation for a long time and finally released you here this morning. I've done nothing but listen to you quietly snoring over there."

"I don't snore..." I sadly say with a pout and he just smiles genuinely.

"You do, and I love it so much. I want to kiss you right now, but neither of us can get out of bed." Looking down, he has two casts on his legs and his head wrapped up. My poor baby.

"My heart failed cause I thought my parents were telling me you didn't make it... I guess you can say I died from a broken heart."

"You really do love me..."

"Was there any doubt that I did?"

"I've only ever been played when someone told me they loved me. I hated thinking it, but I thought that was you too. I'm an idiot for remotely thinking that." Scowling at him, he knows he hit the nail on the head. "I just don't know what I did to deserve you. It's such a mystery to me."

"Knock knock!" A female voice come from the hallway and soon a doctor with long legs, beautiful blonde hair and a rich English accent makes her presence known in the middle of our conversation. "Oh Ms. Johnson it's so wonderful to see you up!"

"Thank you..."

"Sorry, I'm Dr. Kira McBride. I did the transplant on you. I'm just in checking up on you and making sure yer not experiencing any abnormal pain." I look at Jamie and then her and smile cause she seems so nice.

"Oh, okay."

"No what kind of pain are you feeling today?"

"It feels like a truck is sitting on my chest."

"Alright. Let me take a listen real quick." Coming over, she places he old stethoscope on my chest and asks me to take deep breaths. As I do, I notice Jamie seems a little nervous. "Okay, so it sounds to me like just some inflammation- probably from the medicine we have you on. Other than that- it seems like a a very healthy normal heart."

"May I ask you something."

"Of course."

"How old was the donor?"

"He was well into his 50's. But the age of the person doesn't determine the strength of the heart." Taking a breath, I smile and close my eyes for a second- actually praying to the man and thanking him for his lifeline. "If you need anything, ring the station and the nurse should be in. Have a good day."

After she leaves, I turn slowly on my side and face Jamie- who still seems nervous. Reaching out over the gap, I extend my reach to him and he doesn't hesitate to touch my finger tips with his broken ones. Slowly pulling away from each other, I stare at his cast.

"Where were we going?"

"What?" He sits up a bit.

"When we got hit...where were we going?"

"We were gonna go to a beautiful hilltop to have dinner and sleep under the stars." I can't hide my small smile. How romantic he is.

"Oh."

"It was the same hilltop my father proposed to my mother on. An his father before him and his father..." Oh.

"History repeating itself over generations." I smile.

"I guess so."

"Were... Were we gonna be the next generation?" He pauses for a few minutes and I can't help but hold my breath.

"I...I don't know."