Boys with brown eyes

Chapter 47

My head rested against the door, and the coldness from the hardwood floors spread into me. I didn't know what to feel. I was angry and frustrated, sad and annoyed. My emotions were running high, and my heart beat faster than usual. Then, a knock came on the door, "Y/n?"

I stood up and unlocked the door before sitting on my bed. The door opened, and her feet came into view. She sat beside me, brushing some pieces of hair behind my ear.

"How are you feeling?" Her hand glided over my scalp, brushing in slow motions.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

We sat there for a while. The only sounds in the room were from her hand in my hair, my heavy breathing and the slight tick from the air conditioner on the wall. I moved my eyes up, concentrating on every item I could see, afraid I could break if I thought.

"It's okay to feel sad," moms words distracted me from the voice in my head, "and it's okay if you feel angry."

"I don't want to go back." It sounded hoarse like my throat had dried up.

"You don't have to."

"He will never quit." I leant into her, letting her arms embrace me into safety. She rocked us from side to side, humming while stroking my hair.

"If he doesn't listen, I'll make him leave." She kissed my head, "I'll never let anyone take you."

We sat like that for some time, mom's words calmed me, but they couldn't stop the small tears from escaping down my cheek. The front door opened, and tiny footsteps approached the open door. Hitoka popped her head in, gazing at our position on the bed. Without saying anything, she strolled over and sat beside me, engaging in our hug—a small smile formed on my face. I'll never leave them again.

Toka walked out to start dinner as mom stopped by the door. "You should text Daichi. He's probably wondering where you are."

I answered with a nod and grabbed my phone from my pocket.

Daichi<3

Y/N
Hi<3 I'm staying home tonight
Sorry about earlier

Daichi<3
Hi baby❤️
Don't worry about it
How are you?

Y/N
Tired, but I'm okay💕

Daichi<3
Tell me if you need anything

Y/N
I will<3
See you tomorrow❤️

Daichi<3
See you tomorrow, love❤️

I took a long bath before bed, trying to relieve stress. Mom agreed to drive us to school and pick us up after practice so that she would handle him if Dad showed up again. The whole situation felt dramatic, but I couldn't take him alone. My entire soul would crumble whenever he looked at me, and I would do anything he said. It felt like I was a puppet, rid of any choices.

Mom explained to Hitoka what had happened while I was in the bathroom. She spent the rest of her night in her bedroom, not even letting mom in. Something in Toka withered when we left for America. Her once loving and fun dad packed up his stuff and walked out, not bothering to say goodbye. Hitoka always saw the good in people, and all the warning signs dad gave didn't appear to her. To her, the divorce was a shock. She thought we would be a big happy family forever. What broke her the most was that dad never contacted her. Not on her birthday, phone calls, or even a message. It was like he was getting rid of anything he didn't need.

I still remember the day we left; I dream of it. The look on my sister's face as I ran after him and how she stared after us from the entrance when we got into the car. My plan had miserably failed. We were supposed to return after a month tops when dad realised everything he loved was in Japan. When we lived in America, he didn't talk about his family or visit them. Dad had lived in Japan for as long as we knew, and all that time, he never spoke about his family or his roots. It was like he removed everything he didn't want as he moved forward.

Mom said he didn't like talking about them, so we shouldn't ask. And we didn't. Angering him was something we learnt from early on not to do. He would never lay a hand on anyone, but that didn't mean he didn't use words. Some phones were also likely to break during his outbursts.

Once I got into bed, I stared at the ceiling, recalling some months ago. I was so depressed. It felt like the whole world was evolving around me when I was in a trance. Every night I stared at the ceiling, just like I was doing now, and I would think about the endless thing I would be doing if I never left.

I shook my head; no use in thinking about that now.

My phone lit up on the nightstand beside me. I grabbed hold of it and stared at the picture of Daichi I had as a background. He was smiling with a sandwich, a bag over his shoulder, and a casual white t-shirt on. My heart fluttered at the sight of him. I kissed the screen and held my phone as I drifted off to sleep.