Hotel Valhalla [Magnus Chase Series]

Time On My Hands

        By MIMIR

  There’s something I want to get off my chest. I hear what you people say behind my back. You think I’d give my right arm to be the way I was before the Aesir-Vanir war. Not so. Cross my heart, I washed my hands of Asgard and Vanaheim long ago.
  Don’t get me wrong: Life in the well of knowledge isn’t a walk in the park. I’ve learned things that have sent shivers down my spine. And it can be a real pain in the neck when the gods, dwarves, giants, you name it, come to cry on my shoulder. Sometimes I try to give them a leg up, let ’em have a sip
in exchange for a little something-something.
  Other times, though, they’re so irritating I just want to give them a knuckle sandwich. Mostly I just cross my fingers that they don’t show their faces here again.
  But on the plus side, I’ve got plenty of elbow room down here in the well. Tons of free time on my hands, too, and I don’t just sit around twiddling my thumbs. Nah, instead of dragging my feet, I’ve invented some stuff. Got my fingers in a lot of pies, actually, and been making money hand over fist, if you
want to know the truth.
  Here are just a few of the creations that took off:

STRAW: Whether sucking up a favorite beverage or shooting a spit-soaked wad of paper at an unsuspecting target, this simple tube can do it all.
  Straws come in fifty, one-hundred, and five-hundred count packages and are available in clear,opaque white, striped, or neon colors.
  Make ’em bendy or curly for just a little more moola!

BASEBALL CAP: It’s the headwear sensation that’s sweeping the nations!
  Versatile enough for use in any world.
  The brim can protect dwarves from the never-ending Alfheim light and the blinding sun of Midgard.
  Elves, wear it backward for a funky street-cred look and let the sun’s rays (and admiring
raves!) bring you back to life.
  Choose from a wide variety of colors and brim shapes—or use the patented design tool to customize your own unique style.
  Adjustable back strap makes it a perfect fit for any head.

PILLOW: You’ve had a long day. Now it’s time to relax. Let us help with our feather-filled rectangle of downy softness, the perfect comfort zone in which
to nestle your head for the night.
  When ordering, please specify falcon, raven,
pigeon, or eagle fill.
  Allergic to feathers? Try our all-natural goat-fur alternative instead.
  Act now and get a second pillow free.
  Shipping and handling charges may apply.