Hotel Valhalla [Magnus Chase Series]

Goat Pleasing Recipes

        By Marvin

  Listen up, punks. I don’t go in for therapy the way Otis does. If there’s a problem, I head-butt it straight on.
  And right now, I got a problem with you. I don’t like how you treat us.
  Think I’m joking? Well, chew on this.
  Every night, it’s the same thing: butcher, cook, chew, swallow, resurrect, repeat.
  That’s fine. It’s our fate to be slaughtered. Whatever. But what I want to know is, would it kill you to spice us up a little now and then?
  We’re bored to death
with being served the same way dinner after dinner! Look at it from our point of view, for crying out loud!
  A little effort is all I’m asking. Here are some ideas even dimwits like you can follow:

BUFFALO GOAT TENDERS

  Slice us into strips. Dip us in milk and coat us with panko crumbs.
  Fry us in oil on both sides. Dry us on a paper towel.
  Move us to a serving dish and smother us in Buffalo sauce.
  Serve us with blue cheese dressing and celery.

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GOAT POT PIE

  Cube us. Combine us with peas, carrots, celery, and goat broth.
  Boil, drain, and set aside.
  Sauté chopped onion and garlic. Mix with us and dump us into a piecrust.
  Cover us with another crust.
  Bake us in a dwarf kiln until golden brown.
  Scoop us into bowls and eat us.

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GOAT CAESAR SALAD OR WRAP

Cook and dice us.
  Toss us with Caesar salad dressing, hand-torn romaine lettuce, shredded parmesan cheese, and croutons.
  Serve us as a salad or roll us in a wrap for an on-the-go meal.
 

  For additional recipes, consult Saehrimnir, will you? Sheesh.