Under My Protection

Chapter 6

Rain pushed the covers off, sitting upright in bed and looking at his phone. Being Saturday, he had slept without setting an alarm as it was his one day each week with no schedule. Sometimes he would invite Sky over or spend the day in bed watching dramas. Lately, however, he had been spending his Saturdays, in some way, with Phayu. He looked over at the door, smiling, knowing that beyond that door would be his breakfast on a tray and Phayu.

Sometimes Rain felt guilty that Phayu had to stand around waiting for him. Waiting for him to wake up, waiting for his lessons to finish, waiting while he visited with Sky, waiting, always waiting. But Rain also found immense comfort in that same waiting. That constant waiting meant that Phayu was always there. Never far, except when he slept. Another guard would step in for nine hours each night so Phayu could sleep, shower, and exercise. However, since Rain typically slept more than nine hours, Phayu was there when he went to bed and there when he woke.

Rain often wondered what it would be like to invite Phayu to spend his nine hours with him. Limbs intertwined, slotted together like puzzle pieces that didn't look like they should fit, but did. Wondered what it would be like to fall asleep curled into Phayu's side and wake with Phayu's breath warm on his neck.

While Rain knew that could never happen, he imagined it so often that it began to feel real. He could almost feel the ghost of Phayu's arms around him as he drifted to sleep each night. Instead, he would create a wall of pillows along his back, feeling the slight pressure, picturing them as Phayu's long body slotted behind him.

He placed his bare feet on the floor, stood, and moved to the door. He no longer cared what he looked like when he opened the door. Initially, he would hurry to the bathroom, smooth his hair, and get dressed. But, now, weeks after the kiss, he simply opened the door upon rising. Some part of him wanted Phayu to see him straight from sleep, how he would look if Phayu had spent the night next to him.

"Good morning P'Phayu," Rain said after opening the door in bare feet, boxers, disheveled hair, and with a smile aimed at Phayu.

"Good morning, Rain," Phayu responded, smileless. In public spaces, Phayu typically tried to avoid responding to Rain with affection. Focused on attempting to maintain an appropriate, professional distance between them in case they were overheard. Rain chuckled inwardly, knowing that Phayu often failed.

"Will you come in with my tray?" Rain asked, looking down at his breakfast tray on the floor, noting the extra portions that Bun Ma now left. She had never commented about the kiss Rain was pretty sure she saw or the fact that Phayu spent time in Rain's room now instead of plastered to the wall across from Rain's room. She simply began adding food to his trays, her only acknowledgement of the shift in their relationship.

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Every morning Phayu watched Bun Ma deliver Rain's breakfast, and his too, he supposed. Rain had told him that she had seen them kiss in the garden. Terrified at first of all the implications, he quickly came to realize Bun Ma posed no threat to him. If anything, she had quietly signaled her approval, telling Phayu the first morning after that she had left him something on Rain's tray, just in case, before turning and walking away. She had never made another comment but continued bringing the extra food and smiling as she took away the empty trays.

Every morning, Phayu would report for duty, relieving the night guard. Every morning, he would wait. Wait for an alarm to sound. Wait to hear footsteps nearing the door. Wait for the turn of the doorknob. Wait for his first view of Rain each morning. Sweetly, disheveled Rain.

Rain would stare up at him, smiling, and Phayu would struggle to continue breathing. That first glimpse stunned him every morning. He had not grown used to the sight of Rain, shaking off the effects of sleep, rubbing his eyes, running his hands through his hair.

Phayu could imagine rolling over in bed and seeing this version of Rain next to him. Having untangled himself from Phayu, covers pooling at his waist, as he sat up stretching his arms over his head. Imagined himself grabbing Rain by the waist and throwing him back onto the bed, covering them both completely beneath the blankets.

"P'Phayu? Will you come in with breakfast, please?" Rain repeated.

Phayu shook himself from his stupor, lifted the tray, and nodded to Rain. Knowing his position in the household, he should not feel intimidated by Rain, but, somehow Rain had the ability to steal his confidence. Leave him unable to sort through his thoughts and respond with determination instead of standing there silent.

He followed Rain into his room and set the tray on the table as Rain sat down on the sofa. Knowing that an invitation to join Rain was imminent, Phayu went ahead and sat at the opposite end. They drank their coffee in silence for several moments before Rain spooned food onto two plates, handing one to Phayu.

"So, what do you want to know about today?" Phayu asked. Every day Rain decided on a topic for their breakfast conversation. Phayu found it adorable. Clearly, Rain spent time each day thinking up ways for them to get to know each other better. Some questions were normal and expected, "Tell me about your family", "Tell me about your schooling", "Tell me about your hobbies." Others were odd and unexpected, "What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said on a date," "What would you say or do if you met an alien," "If you got banned from the library, what would be the reason for it." Phayu sometimes thought Rain spent his evenings googling questions for them. Other times, he imagined these questions popping randomly into Rain's head and that he kept a running list on his phone that he added to as they entered his head.

"I thought you could ask a question today," Rain said before shoving a strawberry into his mouth.

Phayu was unprepared to ask a question, although, if being honest, he had many questions for Rain. But, were they ready for the questions he wanted answers for?

Phayu set down his plate, slid closer on the sofa, and took Rain's hands in his own.

"I can ask anything?" Rain nodded in response.

"What would you want to be if you could leave here?" Phayu asked, squeezing Rain's hands gently when he saw Rain's eyes close.

"Well, when I was little I wanted to be a chef. Bun Ma would let me help her in the kitchen and sometimes my mom would join. But, I wouldn't want that anymore. I was really, really terrible at it. So, I guess I'd say, a landscape designer. I've spent most of my life inside but I really love the outdoors and our garden. I'd want to spend my days outside, so maybe that. Or just a gardener. I could probably be happy just planting flowers and watering plants all day. I wouldn't need anything fancy."

Phayu felt something shift in him with that response. Here was Rain, poised to take over his father's business, to eventually wield intense power, simply wanting to trim rose bushes. What had been a fierce affection for Rain changed to something deeper, something he wasn't sure he was ready for or wanted. But something he was unable and unprepared to stop.

"Can I ask another question?" Rain nodded again.

"Can I kiss you?" They had not kissed since their first and Phayu felt both nervous and confident that Rain would say yes. Rain nodded again, scooting slightly closer, moving his hands to Phayu's biceps.

Phayu lifted his hands to Rain's cheeks, stroking them softly as he leaned in. He placed a soft kiss on Rain's lips and felt Rain's hands tighten on his arms. Growing rapidly heated, Rain opened his mouth as Phayu swept his tongue in, moving his hands to the back of Rain's head, pinning him there. Out of breath, Phayu pulled slightly back and looked at Rain for several moments before placing his forehead on Rain's. Whatever was he going to do about this?

Notes:

Next week I think we might hear from Bun Ma and have some increased angst. No more soft and fluffy, lol