Under My Protection

Chapter 9

Notes:

Date #1

Rain adjusted his shirt collar, staring at the stranger in his mirror. Was he really going to do this? His heart said no. Find his father and refuse. Tell him he was in love with Phayu and refuse. But, Rain also knew that he really had no choice. Was not even sure of the consequences of telling his father that. He might send Rain away to school like he'd threatened. He might remove Phayu from his position. Or worse. Rain tried hard not to think of the worst type of things his father was capable of doing to Phayu.

He'd tried to talk to Phayu about it but Phayu had refused to respond. He'd begged Phayu to tell him his thoughts, his feelings. Anything. But Phayu had dug his heels in and refused to say anything about it. He'd continued acting the same towards Rain. Joined him each morning for breakfast. Chatted with him in the garden. Hugged him tightly. Kissed him sweetly. But Rain could see the slight tightness to his jaw that had appeared and never left. He'd seen Phayu's hands clench when Rain had tried to talk to him about the situation. But he would shake his head and say it was better they didn't talk about it. Better if they didn't focus on the what ifs and follow their orders.

Rain had not hid his frustration. Frustration with his father. Frustration with Phayu. He tried talking to Phayu calmly. Tried talking firmly. Tried yelling. Tried begging. Tried making sweet eyes at Phayu while stroking his cheeks. Nothing. Rain simply got nothing from Phayu. On some level he understood Phayu's reluctance to talk about it but he was also so angry at him for it. He felt alone in this, although he knew in his heart he wasn't.

If not Phayu, who else could he talk to? He'd tried Sky, who had listened, but in the end just said, "What do expect P'Phayu to do here Rain? You of all people know what could happen if he did. You are asking too much from him. Maybe you should have thought of the consequences of getting involved with him. I feel bad for you, I do, you know I do. But you've really put yourself and P'Phayu in an impossible position." Rain knew Sky was right, but in the end he'd told Sky he was no help at all and he shouldn't have called, then hung up on him. He sighed knowing he'd have to call and apologize to Sky. That he'd been too harsh. That Sky was just saying the things Rain already knew.

But what good did hind-sight do him? It was too late for all of that. This is where he had ended up. In love with someone he shouldn't be in love with. Someone that life didn't want him to be with. Someone that he couldn't figure out how he could be with forever. He wanted Phayu to work through this with him. Help him figure out what to do. But Phayu offered no input and kept his thoughts to himself.

Releasing his grip on the bathroom counter, he stood, steeling himself in preparation for the evening ahead. An evening of trying to interact with a girl he had no interest in, would never have interest in.

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Phayu heard Rain's door open, knew he would be standing there, dressed for his date. He didn't want to see him right now. Didn't want this evening to occur. Didn't want to see Rain dressed up for someone else. Watch him eat with someone else. Talk with someone else. Watch other patrons eye the interactions between this girl and Rain. Watch her flirt with Rain. Watch Rain smile at this girl, forced though it may be.

He forced himself to lift his head and look at Rain, heart tightening as he looked into Rain's worried, nervous eyes. He wanted to comfort him, tell him it would all be okay. But could he really say that and mean it? He wanted to. Wanted to say it and mean it. But he knew that while he could speak those words to Rain, he wouldn't actually mean them. They'd be a lie and he didn't want to lie to Rain. He didn't know that it would all be okay. Didn't know that he wouldn't have to watch Rain date and marry someone else.