Under My Protection

Chapter 15

It had been 5 days since Phayu had spoken to Rain. After the first day, he had knocked quietly with no response. He had tried again twice more with the same result. Only Bun Ma had gone in since the meeting with Rain's father. After also getting no response from knocking, Bun Ma had simply opened the door and gone in. Phayu didn't feel he had the same right to enter without permission.

Each time, Bun Ma would slip in, balancing Rain's food in one hand, and quickly shut the door behind her. She exited in the same way each time, small and quick, with a mostly uneaten tray of food with her. Phayu had hoped to catch a glimpse of Rain during her entrances and exits, but he had not.

Bun Ma would either nod at Phayu or simply say, "he'll be okay, just give him some time." So, he was trying. Trying to give Rain time. Time and space. But it was not easy, each day fighting his desire to push through the closed door so he could confirm Rain was, indeed, okay because he didn't really believe that.

So he waited. Waited for the day that Rain would open the door and ask him to come in. Waited, waited and hoped that day would actually come. Stood outside Rain's door each day. His only interactions were with Bun Ma or Channarong who stopped by once a day to confirm Rain had not left his room by simply opening the door slightly, scanning the room, then shutting it and walking away. Phayu teetered between anger at Channarong feeling he could just open Rain's door without knocking and a brief moment of relief that Rain was indeed okay enough that Channarong felt no need to comment on his state.

Standing alone day after day without really speaking to anyone left his mind to wander. He worried that Rain was alone and crying. Worried his cheek still hurt. Worried he would retreat back into himself. Worried because he was not eating. Worried that he would stop his relationship with Phayu to appease his father. Out of fear. And really, Phayu would not blame him. Would understand if that was Rain's choice. But he still waited, and hoped, that he would soon be let in and although nothing was really okay, that they would be okay.

So he waited.

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Rain lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He spent most of his days in bed, curled under his comforter or staring at the ceiling. He had lost interest in all things. Could not watch tv. Could not play games on his phone. Could not read. Could do nothing but think. Think about his life. Or lack of one. Think about what he should do next. But nothing came to him. All solutions ended in misery or worse, death. So, he lay there waiting until he came up with an idea, any idea, that had any hope of ending in his freedom. His freedom with Phayu. But nothing came. So he lay there.

Three times a day, Bun Ma would come in to bring his food and stay long enough to force him to shower, watch him at least try and eat something, and suggest he spend some time out of bed. She told him that his mother was sorry for her slip and hoped to visit him soon, if he would allow it. Each visit she also told him that Phayu was just outside and was probably waiting to be invited in. Probably wanted to see for himself that Rain was okay. But she never forced the issue, simply shared her quick thoughts, grabbed his tray and left.

But he didn't know what to say to Phayu. Partly because he didn't know what he wanted to do next. Partly because he was ashamed and so embarrassed that Phayu had witnessed what his father did to him. Being called those things. Being hit in front of him. What did Phayu think? Feel? He knows it must have been difficult for him to stand there. But did it change how he felt about Rain? About their situation? About their future? He knew the only way he would get answers was to ask Phayu directly. But was he ready for the answers?

Rain sighed, rolling over and covering his head with his comforter. He took a few steadying breaths before coming back out and rising out of bed. He briefly thought about checking his appearance in the mirror, fixing his hair, and covering his bruised cheek with makeup. But he didn't have the energy and figured Phayu wouldn't really care about his hair anyway.