AGAIN || MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Céline

Before

It's almost been a month since the evening of my birthday, Christmas is coming and I'm late as always with the gifts. Charles and I decided to spend the afternoon shopping.
The past weeks we'd texted and seen each other practically every day, and our relationship was slowly becoming stronger. Every time we're together there's a strange tension between us, Daniel claims that the Ferrari driver likes me, and I must admit that I wouldn't mind if that were the case.It has been almost a month since the evening of my birthday. Christmas is approaching, and, as always, I'm running late with the gifts. Charles and I decided to spend the afternoon shopping. Over the past few weeks, we've been texting and seeing each other practically every day, and our relationship has been slowly growing stronger. There's a strange tension between us every time we're together. Daniel claims the Ferrari driver likes me, and I have to admit I wouldn't mind if that was true.

I like Charles. He's one of the sweetest and funniest guys I've ever met. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about us as more than friends during this past month. Every time the idea crossed my mind, it gave me butterflies. The other night, Charles made it clear he felt the same way. That's why I'm feeling a little anxious today. After the confessions of our last call, I'm not exactly sure what to expect.

'I hope you're not scared of dogs!' He says as the elevator doors open, leaving us in front of his apartment door.

'I love dogs! It's always been my dream to have one. But my mom's allergic, so no dog for me.' I don't even have time to set foot inside before a large dog comes bounding toward me and jumps on me, making me lose my balance. I close my eyes, bracing for impact with the floor, but it doesn't come. Two strong arms catch my waist, and everything stops.

My gaze locks with Charles's. We stare at each other for a few moments, maybe minutes and when Charles's face starts to lean closer to mine, all the anxiety I've felt up until this moment intensifies. When his warm breath brushes against my skin, my eyes flutter shut.

Am I really about to kiss Charles Leclerc?

Apparently not.

His lips almost graze mine, a feather-light touch, or maybe I imagined it. Then I feel his face pull away, and I'm back on my feet.

Perhaps I misunderstood. Neither of us says anything, too embarrassed by what just happened. I can't help feeling a bit upset. Why didn't he kiss me, after everything he's said this month?

'Sorry, Nala's always like this with new people. She's harmless, just wants to play.' His dog had faded into the background, and it takes me a moment to realize what he's talking about. Then I feel the puppy nudge against my legs, looking for affection. Smiling, I crouch down and start showering her with caresses.

At least someone's getting a little love, I think.

The atmosphere between us is tense, filled with an awkwardness I didn't want to face today.

'Charles.' When I say his name, he stops abruptly. His back is to me, but I see him take a deep breath. 'Fancy a hot chocolate and a movie? We can go out later.' He doesn't want to talk about it. For now, I let it go, simply nodding. The movie isn't particularly engaging. Charles and I sit next to each other, but something feels off. Suddenly, his hand moves in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.

'You look exhausted. Did you sleep last night?' I actually hadn't, but that's not the point right now. He doesn't want to address what happened earlier, but I do.

'Charles, I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Awkwardness was the last thing I wanted between us.' The lump in my throat makes it hard to continue. Charles shakes his head and moves closer, though he maintains a careful distance.

'Céline, you didn't misunderstand. It's just complicated.' My heart beats faster. Complicated?

'If you're worried about your job, your fame...' He interrupts me with a defeated tone. 'It's not just that. I mean, partly, but...' His sentence trails off. I don't know what to say. I watch as he runs his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. Only now Daniel's words from this morning resurface in my mind. He'd been telling Heidi about his friend Cha and a girl at a club last night. I don't want to believe Cha is Charles, but the chances it isn't are slim. After what just happened, I need to know.

'Is it complicated because of the girl from last night?' The question escapes me before I can stop it. Maybe it's not my business. I should shut up and act cool. This past month has been amazing, and I don't want to ruin it over this stupid feeling in my chest.

Jealousy? Maybe. But it doesn't make sense, Charles and I aren't even a thing. His expression is confused, his eyebrows furrowed as his sharp gaze locks onto mine.

'What are you talking about?'

'This morning, Dan was telling Heidi about his friend Cha's fling with a girl.' Charles says nothing. His incredulous expression shifts, maybe to guilt. 'It's not my business. If there's a girl you're spending your nights with, it's fine. I'm happy for you.'

I'm not happy. Not even close.

'Céline.' I can't meet his gaze.

I can't cry in front of him.

'Céline, look at me. Please.' I shake my head and I feel him moving closer, careful not to touch me, likely unsure of my reaction.

'If you think I didn't want to kiss you earlier, you're crazy. God knows what I'd do if you were mine. I've spent every minute of this past week thinking about you. But I can't.'

I'm speechless.

If he feels this way, why did he go out with someone else? 'I can't because I'm no good for you. You need someone who can be there for you in your bad moments, and I can't be that person. I'm always traveling. I'd hate knowing you're not okay while I'm on the other side of the world. I've lived this before, and it didn't end well. I don't want you to suffer because of me.'

This is insane. He's scared I'll get hurt? Sure, it could happen. But it might not. 'Charles, that's messed up. Have you even considered what I want?'

He looks at me, silent. Just a sigh.

'This past month has been incredible. I feel things when I'm with you, things I've never felt before. I don't care if distance tests us. I want to try. I want to make it work. I'm willing to take the risk. But if you're not, if you don't want this, then I understand.'

I don't. Not at all.

But it's not about me right now.

'The girl, last night, I was trying to get you out of my mind. It didn't work. She tried to kiss me and I pictured you in my mind, and when I saw her blonde hair again I couldn't do it.' I exhale and step closer to him. His face relaxes, the tension melting away. He reaches for my cheek, and the warmth of his touch makes me lean into his hand. My heart races, my mind blank. I don't know what will happen after today. All I know is that I'll be going home without a Christmas present.

'I want to kiss you. I want it so bad, even if Daniel will kill me when he finds out.' We share a brief laugh. This time, I'm the one who steps closer, closing the distance between us.

'Then kiss me, Charles.'

His breath brushes my lips again. I feel his heart pounding with mine as my eyes close, ready to finally feel his lips on mine.