AGAIN || MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE

Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

Céline

Now

JFK
4.30
meet me there fleur

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not even sure if Charles was the one who wrote me that note. But of course, it must have been, he's the only one who calls me fleur. I don't even like flowers that much, but I never told him, I like the way it sounds when he says it. This is the last chance I'll give us. These past few months have felt like stepping back into the past. I felt alive, loved. For the first time in nearly three years, I've felt like myself again.

Everything seemed perfect, until it didn't.

A switch flipped in my mind. I have a dream, and Charles has his own. But Monaco isn't my home anymore, it's not where I belong. New York is. And there's no way I could ask Charles to move here for me. And then there are those pictures. Him with a girl, leaving his hotel room at the Imola Grand Prix. The two of them dancing together in a club. After the pictures were out I packed my things, booked the first flight back to the U.S. and blamed myself for being so naïve. Charles has been calling me ever since, but I never picked up, ending up blocking him. I don't know how he found me, but he did. And now I see him, seated on a bench in the middle of JFK's waiting lounge, his face tired and worn. I walk up to him, standing directly in front of the bench. 'Charles, what are you doing here?' He runs a hand over his face and takes a deep breath.

'I fucked up. I don't know why I did it. Why I danced with her.' He pauses, and I'm desperate for him to continue, to say what he should have said in one of the thousand calls I made that night. I want him to tell me it was nothing, that we can still be happy. Maybe, after all, I should have answered one of his calls.

'But I promise you, Lin, nothing happened in that hotel room. I woke up on the sofa, fully dressed. She wasn't there. Kika was.' I frown. The pictures were everywhere. He was leaving with someone, and that someone was wearing Charles' hoodie the next morning.

Before I can voice my thoughts, he's already answering my question, as he could read my mind. 'The girl in the picture outside the hotel? That wasn't her. It was Kika. I saw the pictures. They're blurry. It's hard to tell who it is.'

He looks nervous, too nervous. I don't believe him.

'She was in your hoodie Charles...' My voice cracks despite my effort to stay composed. I spent days crying and I'm not going to cry again, though a lump forms in my throat. I'm still standing, but now Charles rises, towering over me.

'Can we talk about this on my jet?'

I stare at him in disbelief, shaking my head with a bitter laugh. 'You're delusional if you think I'm going with you! You can't snap your fingers and expect me to follow you like some lost puppy.' His expression shifts, stunned. His mouth opens, but no words come for a long moment. This time, it's me who stands firm, disappointment etched into every part of me. 'I'm not expecting that.' He says finally, his voice softer. 'I just want some privacy. Please, Lin.' Hearing the fear in his voice, the fear of saying the wrong thing and making me walk away, makes me realize I might have shouted too much. At least the waiting lounge is nearly empty, just the two of us.

'I don't want to be alone with you right now.' I say firmly. 'If you want to talk, we do it here. Because you won't get another chance.' He nods, understanding. It's now or never. His hands reach for mine, but I take a step back, creating more distance between us. And so he begins, his fingers fidgeting nervously to try to calm himself.

'When I got home and you weren't there, I felt like I was dying.' He says, his voice breaking. 'When Kelly told me you needed space because of the pictures, I could only think about the girl at the club. I hadn't seen the pictures of me leaving the hotel yet. It didn't even cross my mind that you'd be mad at me for walking with Kika.' My eyes falter, unable to hold his gaze. Charles is rambling, and I'm struggling to follow. 'I don't understand.' I admit. 'You made it so messy, I can't keep up.'