AGAIN || MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE

Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

Céline

Now

The air feels heavy. I sit on the edge of the bed, my knees drawn up slightly, my hands clasped tightly in my lap. Charles is beside me, his head tilted down, his expression unreadable. I've been speaking for what feels like hours, but now, with the silence stretching between us, I wonder if I've made a mistake.

'Can-can you please say something?' I finally whisper, my voice trembling. The weight of the truth hangs in the room like a storm cloud, threatening to suffocate me. He raises his head slightly, his eyes meeting mine. 'I'm sorry.' He says quietly. I blink, the words hitting me like a slap. 'What?' My voice cracks. 'You're sorry?'

'I'm sorry I didn't answer you, Lin.' His tone is soft, but the pain behind it is unmistakable.

'You couldn't have known.' I murmur, the ache in my chest threatening to pull me under. He shakes his head, his jaw tightening. 'I spent weeks hoping for you to call, and when you finally did, I was right in the middle of a meeting.' His voice catches, and he exhales sharply, as if the memory is too much. 'When Fred saw it was you calling, he took my phone away and then...'

'And then I never answered.' I finish for him, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. His eyes close briefly, a shadow crossing his face. 'Yes.' I stare down at my hands, the scars of the past feeling freshly reopened.

'What happened after the incident?' He asks gently, his voice barely above a whisper. I shake my head, swallowing hard. 'I don't really remember, Charles. It was so bad that my mind erased it shortly after. It's all blank.' His breath hitches, and he reaches out, his fingers brushing mine. 'God, Lin.'

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill. 'I just remember Kelly and Max being there when I woke up. They told me I'd been asleep for days. Apparently all the surgeries knocked me out for a bit.'

Charles' grip tightens slightly on my hand, his warmth grounding me even as my memories spiral. 'Why did you never pick up after?' He asks, his voice laced with something I can't quite place, desperation, maybe.

'Because it was all gone.' I say, my voice trembling. My free hand gripping the edge of the mattress so tightly that my knuckles ache. 'Everything was gone, Charles. And calling you? It would have only made it worse.'

He's staring at me, his eyes searching mine, desperate to piece together the fragments of the past I've kept hidden.

But I look away. I can't hold his gaze right now. Not when the weight of my words is suffocating me. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. My eyes shift to the window, where the faint glow of the Greenland sky filters through the curtains.

'Worse? For who, Lin?' He demands, his voice rising, though his grip on my hand remains gentle. 'Because you know I would have been there!' His words cut through me, a mixture of frustration and tenderness that only he can manage. I turn away, my heart pounding as memories flood back. 'It would have distracted you.' I murmur, barely audible. 'I couldn't, Charles. Both our careers were at stake, you know it.'

'I would have risked it all for our baby, Charles.' I say without waiting for his answer. My voice cracks. 'But then...' I close my eyes, tears slipping down my cheeks as I force myself to continue. 'It was nonsense to ruin your life too. Mine was enough.' His hand moves to my face, gently wiping away a tear. 'You think that would've distracted me?' His voice is soft, but there's a sharp edge to it. 'You think I cared more about racing than...'

'Don't!' I cut him off, shaking my head. 'Please don't say that. I didn't call because I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had. I didn't want to remind you of everything we lost.' My throat tightens, and I have to swallow hard to keep the tears at bay.