Lisa
I stare up at the night sky, while listening to the tall grass ruffle around me in the breeze. There are not many stars out tonight, but the fireflies swarm around me happily, making me feel like I'm lost in the darkness, blending into the night sky.
If only that were true. If only the sky would just fall down and swallow me whole. Maybe out there, I'd finally feel like I belong somewhere.
After abruptly leaving Nini's wedding, I hopped into my truck and drove the nearly two hour drive straight to my field.
I feel bad for leaving, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the thought of being the one standing behind the camera, capturing a moment that I so desperately wanted. Capturing that moment that's going to be proudly displayed in a frame for years to come, haunting me.
It should be me, but it looks like I've just missed it. I should have been the one that ended up in the big picture, but at least I know that I'm tucked away in an old cardboard box in the back of a closet somewhere for safe keeping.
My memory may be forgotten about some day, but I know that I'll live on forever, somewhere deep inside her heart.
I've never felt like I was the star of any picture, always a background character. I feel like the world is just one big frame I don't belong in.
All this place has ever been is a small town full of big problems. I need to get away for a while, maybe go backpacking across some foreign country. Pack up Love and just see where the wind takes us. Really start picking up photography and do something that makes me happy. I know my mother probably won't be happy about it, but I realise that I can't be stuck here anymore. It's not healthy for me, both mentally and emotionally.
While I should feel happy for Nini, I can't help but feel sorry for her because now she's stuck. She's stuck in a frame that she can't get out of, but maybe that's just what she wants.
With my chest feeling hollow, I let out a sigh and close my eyes, while submitting to the silence, trying to find peace and melt into the night sky.
If the world is a frame, I guess I belong somewhere out among the stars.
