Lisa
The sound of a car coming down the road disrupts the silence. Cars never come down this road, especially at night. Alarmed, I sit up in time to see a black Range Rover pulling over to the side of the road, parking behind my truck. Nini jumps out of the car, while struggling with the large skirt of her wedding dress.
"Nini?" I breathe out, totally confused.
I brought her to this field once or twice back in high school. She knew that it was my safe place, yet I've never expected her to show up here. I scramble to my feet, meeting her halfway.
She stands before me, hesitant, with her eyes wide and unsure. "I couldn't do it." she blurts, with a tremble in her voice.
My heart slams wildly in my chest. "What?"
Tears well up in her eyes and her hands shake. "I couldn't do it." she whispers painfully.
In that moment, my heart stops. I can't move, can't even blink, can't even hardly breathe.
The silence grows thick between us, with neither one of us knowing what to do next.
She takes a deep breath, while swiping at the tears streaming down her face. "I don't love him. I don't think that I ever did. Not in the way that I love you, Lisa." she confesses.
"Damn it, Nini." I mutter, with all the air seemingly escaping from my lungs.
Did she really call it off?
She takes a cautious step towards me, the relief and gratification evident on her face when I don't back away.
"I'm in love with you, Lisa. I'm an idiot for letting you go, but I was scared, and I know that you deserve a hell of a lot better than me... but I love you. I'm so undeniably in love with you that it hurts... and I... I've never stopped. I never stopped loving you."
We're both quiet for a moment, and I can see the internal battle in her eyes, not knowing what to do next, while waiting for my reaction.
Without a second thought, I close the gap between us and press my lips to hers with urgency, and need. She pulls me closer, while wrapping her arms around my neck, kissing me back with such desperation that I almost forget how to breathe.
I kiss her, over and over again, slowly, passionately, taking my time and getting my fill. I've wanted this for so long.
"I love you too, Nini." I whisper against her lips, my heart clinching uncomfortably in my chest. "But I can't... I can't be with you. Not right now."
Shock, hurt, and panic flash through those bright blue eyes, cracking my heart further. Her grip on me tightens, fearful that I'm going to vanish.
"I've wanted this for so long. So long, Nini." I confess. "I've dreamed of the day that you'd come back to me, and now that it's here.... it doesn't feel quite right."
I let out a slow breath, while composing myself. "I feel like I'm missing something. A part of myself that I need to find first. So that I'm a complete person when we're together."
I've spent years without her, thousands of miles away, yet I have never stopped thinking about her. Even on my death bed, she consumed my thoughts. I wore her like a rock on my back for so many years, heavy on my mind and heart, that I never stood up straight.
When she left me, she took the best parts of me with her. I was like a flower and she picked off the petals, and they never grew back. Now, I realise that I need to learn to grow on my own. Without her.
I'd let her consume my life for far too long, to the point where I could hardly function. I had learned to move on, but I never really learned to live without her. And I need to, in order for us to work, in order for me to truly find self-worth and love before I can wholeheartedly give to anyone else.
Her eyes soften with understanding, but I can tell that she's still hurt. "Come back to me?" she whispers, pleading.
"I'll always come back to you, Nini." I promise.
I'd always come back to her. I just need to find myself first before I can fit comfortably in her frame. Our frame.
