Lisa
After a long day of helping my dad out in the barn, I decide to relax by taking a ride out to my field for a bit before dinner. Love is in the passenger seat, with his head happily sticking out the window as the warm wind whips across his face.
When I approach the field, I pull over to the side of the road where the tall grass is already imprinted with my tire tracks. I jump out of the truck and head over to the passenger side to let Love out. Love jumps out and we both find the perfect spot in the middle of the field, plopping down. I lie back and lace my fingers behind my head, looking up at the sky that's starting to fade to black, with some stars already winking at me. Love lays beside me, with his head resting on my chest.
My mind wanders to the past few weeks. More specifically, it wanders to Nini.
Fate is a cruel, cruel thing. How else could I explain all of this? How else could I explain the fact that the love of my life is marrying another person and I just so happened to get a call from this person's mother saying that her son needs a photographer for his wedding, only to show up and find out that his fiancé is none other than Jennie Kim herself getting married to a person that isn't me?
An invisible heavy rock seems to settle inside my chest, knowing that my life is never going to pan out the way I envisioned it a few years ago.
Back in high school, a naive, lovesick me thought that Nini and I were going to end up together forever. I truly thought that we'd end up as those high school sweethearts that are still as head over heels in love with each other at eighty as they were as teenagers.
After high school, when I proposed, I thought that she'd say yes and we'd be engaged, getting married not long after. Once we were married, I thought I'd go off and join the Marines, do a couple of tours while she finished art school, and then I'd come back and we'd really settle down. In my imaginary world, we'd have a baby by now, hopefully a beautiful little baby girl that's just as beautiful as her mama, and possibly a second one on the way.
But that ship has long sailed. Or sunk rather.
Instinctively, I reach for Love, scratching him on the head to soothe myself and ease the small ache in my heart. As pathetic as it sounds, I don't know if I'll ever get over losing Nini. I loved her so much that it hurt.
Every night out on the battlefield, when I couldn't sleep I just pictured her face in my mind and it somehow gave me a sense of peace, even when I knew that she was no longer mine. I missed her so much that I vividly dreamed of her when I came back home, lying in bed at night, bruised up and in pain from all my injuries. I had frequent dreams of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing her beautiful face, like an angel in the night. But I know that it was just wishful thinking, or all the pain meds that I was on.
The alarm on my phone goes off and I mentally groan, reaching into my pocket and silencing it. This trip was meant to be relaxing and all I could think about was Nini.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, taking a moment to truly relax. I try my best to shut off my brain, listening to the tall grass ruffle around in the breeze while the crickets sing.
Opening my eyes, I realise that it's completely dark out now, with all the stars twinkling like diamonds above me. I reach a hand out, wishing they were close enough to touch, and just as I'm about to retract my arm a firefly passes by, landing in the palm of my hand.
Slowly, gently, I enclose my fingers around the tiny insect and watch it glow in my hand through the small hole at the top of my fist. Smiling, I open my hand and let the little guy go, watching it fly off into the field with its friends that are all twinkling like the stars above, flying all around me. Feeling a bit better, I help Love into the truck and head home for supper.
