Nadir ◈ Seungjin

43 ◈ Cascading Down

Forewarning: Dissociation, non-healthy thought processes are in there, Some of y'all 'bout to be real mad at me.

Idk how to explain to stick with it until everything is explained in the story because I can't spoil anything, you just have to trust me. You gotta trust me. We're going somewhere with all of this and it's somewhere good and I'm going to wreck you but it'll work out I promise.

I promise (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

*Side note: I do NOT condone toxic relationships, I know from firsthand experience how damaging and disgusting they can be. I am not promoting them or romanticizing them through this story. Nor any of the mental difficulties Seung is going through. This boy NEEDS help.

Seungmin sat on the hotel's windowsill. Cautiously balanced along the thin beam as he watched those two demons against the early dawn bleeding through the windows.

Hyunjin as he sat balanced on the alabaster white sheets neatly tucked underneath the untouched mattress, hands laced together in his lap, fingertips tapping against knuckles in rhythmic succession to their silently melodies drummed out on his bones, a constant disturbance Seungmin found himself hypnotized with watching, one nail at a time lifting, setting down, the next, over and over again as their up and down allowed his mind go empty; And Jisung, his knees tucked up in the cushioned seat he occupied to join the other two, happily devouring what he had left of a bowl of jjajangmyeon, Seungmin's jjajangmyeon, after already devouring three sandwiches, an entire pizza, and at least six protein bars Hyunjin kept in the inside pocket of his coat. Jisung, just, did not, stop, eating.

While Seungmin's own stomach griped and groaned at the emptiness, continually rippling through him with nausea as it rejected anything he tried to shove into his mouth to ease the queasiness upsetting him with gags, his body couldn't decide within itself whether or not he needed that bit of energy. Couldn't decide whether or not he was hungry from the hours of frantic sprinting and tumbling through the night, upset with every fiber of his being believing that word, furious at the world, numb to the feeling of the rolled sleeves of his button up and the frozen touch of glass pressed through the thin fabric, knowingly tossing into danger while he was alone with the two people he used to fear more than anyone else in this world. Waiting and watching, from behind his eyes and between his ears, from the corner of the room where the shadows lurked, between the end of the world and the start of the next, how that stranger sitting on the ledge burned.

Seething gently in the scowl of his eyes and the arsonist fire he ignited scalding his fingertips while his soul rotted inside him.

Monster.

A monster, that's all he was.

A monster who belonged beside these two foul creatures. No different to their own impulsive tendencies, Seungmin learned that of himself in the past few hours. He acted on his wrath, not his logic. His grown horns crowning him as a puppet of the dark, not his words which once came diplomatic. Preening their shedding feathers and getting higher off the ecstacy of adrenaline coursing through his blood. Was this the flame Hyunjin said he was so close to igniting? Sparking, without a hope to extinguish? That boiling, that burning beneath his skin, inside his heart like toxic waste of chemicals spilled over his bones while their erosion sponged into the marrow, drowning him in mallow waters. Pent-up and rumbling gently as it's dynamite imploded deep in his chest.