uThando olwanele mina

Chapter 4

Ever felt like the walls are caving in on you, like you can't move you're rooted in the same spot, thoughts running wils and mouth dry like sand that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm looking at these men that are supposed to be my shield and biggest supporters but they are now pushing me towards a hole that doesn't have an exit, a hole I don't know consists of darkness as it should or maybe has some light in it. I can hear them talking but I don't understand even a single word coming out of their mouths I'm dumbfolded.
I keep on asking myself if my mom knew or if my whole family knew or had any idea that this was my fate, I have a good mind of dropping everything and going out of that door but who am I kidding if there's one thing I can never do in my entire life is to disrespect my dad ket alone uBabomkhulu. What has gotten into me my feelings are all over the place my feelings are conflicted, should I or should I not agree to this
Saying no is totally disrespectful and that would automatically mean I'm going against my father but saying yes means I agree to go against my own heart and also giving myself to a total stranger, living my life on someone else's terms that is definitely not how I envisioned my day going. My dad may have said it in a way that sounds like I have a choice but in actual fact I don't and all four of us on this table know it they don't even need my approval this is just them letting me know for my sake so I can prepare but one thing is for sure, the minute I walk out of that door I'm walking away as a different person to that that walked in an hour ago.
This is where my life takes a nasty turn
Me getting married to a stranger ke dimakatso straight.

I finally decide to open my mouth and say the only words stuck on my throat
"I'LL DO IT"
Yeah I literally just sighed my life away.....