The Covetous Heart¹

1

I thought marriage would solve all my problems in life. Akala ko kapag pinakasalan ko na siya ay matatapos na ang lahat. Isa iyon sa malaking pagkakamali ko. It's been two years since Lorenzo and I got married.

And for all those years, we never slept in the same bed nor had breakfast, lunch and dinner together. He's always busy. And I'm always at the house, doing the things that would at least capture his heart to make him close to me.

But nothing works for him.

Pakiramdam ko ay mag-isa akong nakatira sa condo kahit pa may asawa naman ako. I feel like I was being treated like a ghost, hindi naririnig, hindi nakikita at hindi nararamdaman.

"Lorenzo, ikakasal na ang kaibigan mo bukas. He invited us. Hindi ba tayo sasama?" I asked him while he's busy typing something on his laptop. I understand that he's a lawyer and he owns a law firm that's why he's busy, but sometimes I can't help but to think if he's really busy or he's just making himself busy as an excuse to ignore me all the time.

"Can't you knock?" he sarcastically asked without looking at me.

Napahinga ako ng malalim dahil doon. He always have a problem with me. "I'm sorry, hindi kasi ako sanay." saad ko.

"I know. Since then, you don't know how to respect someone's privacy, right?" he asked, sarcastically.

I gulped and ignored his remarks. Sabihin nalang natin na sanay na ako sa malamig niyang pakikitungo noon pa man. Sanay man akong saluhin ang masasakit niyang salita, hindi ko naman maturuang umintindi ang puso kong huwag masaktan sa pakikitungo niya. After all, he's my husband. He should be the one protecting my feelings but instead, he's the cause of my heartbreak.

"Lorenzo. I just came here to ask you, sasama ba tayo?" I gently tapped his hand to get his attention.

"Can't you see that I'm busy?!" I flinched when he suddenly raised his voice.

Kumunot ang noo ko at hindi na kayang kontrolin ang sarili. "Hindi mo ba maihinto kahit saglit ang ginagawa mo? Your friend, Cortez, sent us an invitation for his wedding. Tinanong niya sa akin kung pupunta ba tayo?" I did my best to calmly explain to him what my intention is.

His brows furrowed before he finally looked at me. My heart reacts immediately to his stare as if his eyes and my heart already have a deep connection. Whenever he stares, my heart beats rapidly.

Lorenzo didn't age. He's still the most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life. His perfectly carved jaw, thin yet naturally red lips, his tall nose and his dark hooded eyes. Everything about him looks perfect, one thing I love about him is his deep dimples. Malalim iyon na tila ba tinusok ang ibaba ng pisngi niya. 

He looks like an angel when his dimples shows up. 

"Do you want to come?" he asked.

I bit my lip as my heart throbbed. "Of course!" I excitedly said. Matagal-tagal na rin simula noong huli akong lumabas upang umattended ng ganitong klaseng event.

Kung hindi ako lalabas for work, lalabas lang ako para mag-grocery pero madalas ay si Lorenzo na ang gumagawa noon kaya minsan nalang akong lumabas. Ako lang siguro iyong asawa na tanging trabaho lang ang ginagawa, which is mentally draining me!

"Then, we'll come. And please? Can you please close the door properly once you leave?" he said before looking back again at his desktop.