Tell Me The Truth | D.D.

Chapter Twelve

Trigger Warning ⚠️

It took me a while to get to sleep last night. Partially because I was working on homework, and partially because I thought if I didn't go to bed, I wouldn't have to face the horrors of the next day.

But today did come, more painful than I thought. Today marks a year that my mom and I went to the beach, and only one of us came back alive. Or should I say three of us, but I quickly pushed that thought away in the hopes of completely getting rid of it.

I had told myself that I was going to get up and let the day go by normally, but since I didn't have any classes, I didn't have a reason to get up.

My excuse for not being at the studio was that I was sick or feeling bad. I closed my eyes and started to picture my mom and I that day.

My eyes flew open, and I felt the sting of tears in them. I didn't want today to be real, I really didn't.

I hear a knock at my door. "Lina, are you coming with me to the studio?" Vic screamed. "No, I'm feeling a little sick," I told her, trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

She seemed to sense it was more, but  then I heard her say, "Ok, well, I hope you feel better. Oh, and if you throw up, text me, and I'll stay somewhere else." I gave a fake laugh and said, "Will do."

I heard the door close, leaving me to myself. I lay there in silence. It was eery to say the least. I felt all the memories of everything flooding back.

The thoughts that I worked months to suppress resurfaced in full force. I was a terrible person and a terrible mother. How could I have let my baby die. It was so innocent, and I had to take away its life before it got to live.

Then there was my mother, who gave her everything to me. She was my best friend, as cheesy as that sounds. I'd tell her everything, and she never judged me. I love her so much, and somehow, I ended up killing her.

I ended up killing her.

The thought ran through my mind millions of times. I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw the droplets on my pillow.

I sobbed into my pillow, and I could never forgive myself. I could never forgive myself for the lives that I had taken. I should've gone with them. I shouldn't be alive right now.

My sobbing subsided, and turned into silent tears. I didn't really know how long I had been laying there, but at some point, the front door had opened. I assumed it was Vic finally coming home.

Someone came and opened by door saying, "Coraline?" I knew immediately it wasn't Vic and that she was nowhere around because Dam knew to be careful of that.

I turned in the bed and saw him standing in the doorway. When he saw my face, something changed in his eyes. I could see the alarmed look in them. I hadn't seen my face in the mirror, but it didn't take a genius to know that my eyes were puffy from crying.

He slowly closed the door and walked over to me. He crouched in front of the bed and took his hand to wipe my tears away. "What's wrong, my love," he asked, concerned. His scent filled all the air around me.

I knew I could trust him, but I still hesitated to tell him everything. "It's the anniversary of me killing my baby and my mom," I said, crying.

"You didn't kill them," he said, contradicting me. "No, if I wouldn't have let us drift, everyone would still be alive," I said, raising my voice. I shook my head, "I should've died with them. It would have been easier to just die and not have to live with the pain."

Damiano got in the bed with me and said, "First of all, it isn't your fault at all because you weren't the only one who was in the water." He maneuvered us to where he was looking at me dead in the eye when he said the next thing, "It's a miracle you survived. You are a miracle, Coraline."

He kissed me on the crown of my head, and I started to sob again. He crushed me to his chest as I continued sobbing harder. "It hurts Damiano. It hurts so fucking bad," I tell him. "It's okay. Everything will be okay," he tells me, smoothing my hair.

I let out all the pain and anguish that I have felt. All the emotions I kept bottled up finally exploded.

We stayed like that, him smoothing my hair and saying soothing words, me sobbing uncontrollably. I sobbed for a while. "Do you want to go take a shower? It might make you feel better," He said.

I contemplated for a second before nodding. He told me to stay there while he got the shower ready. He came back five minutes later to tell me everything was ready.

I gave him a quiet thank you and went in. And he was right. It did make me feel a little bit better.

I got out and saw that he had put some clothes out for me. It was a flowy crop top with my favorite pajama pants and one of his hoodies.

I put the clothes on and put my hair in a messy braid. I grabbed my glasses and went back into my bedroom.

Surprisingly, Damiano wasn't in there. I walked out to see him in the kitchen on the phone. I walk up to him and put my hands around his torso, and lean my head on his back.

It doesn't take long for him to finish the call and turn to face me. "That was Vic," he told me. "When is she coming home?" I asked. "I told her you were sick, so I would stay with you, and she could take my apartment," he told me.

"Thank you," I said, planting a kiss on his lips. "Anything," He said, running my back. "Are you tired?" He asked. "No," I said, shaking my head.

"Do you want to help me make some food?" He asked. "Sure," I said. He started getting out the pots and pans. While he did that, I got my laptop and set it up.

I smiled when I opened it. My wallpaper was a picture that I had taken of us laying down in my bed. "I like that picture," He said, looking over his shoulder. "Me too," I agree.

We both knew I couldn't really cook, so I grabbed something to drink and climbed up on the counter, and watched him.

It really relaxed me to watch him cook. He was just in some sweatpants, which was a contrast from my outfit.

"Look at that. I'm a culinary genius," He says, serving the risotto on a plate for me. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

I only ate a few bites, and even those I ate to please Damiano. He noticed but didn't say anything. I think it was because I had at least eaten something.

I suddenly got the chills and went to grab a blanket from the couch. "Cora, how are you not hot?" He asked, giving me an incredulous look. I shrugged, "I don't know." He shook his head and went back to eating.

After that, I helped him do the dishes and went back to my room. A new rush of feelings set in: Loss.

I felt the loss of my mother like a ton of bricks. I missed her so much. Words can't even begin to describe it. I grabbed the picture of us from my dresser and stared at it as I sat down on my bed.

I felt the hot sting of tears as I ran my fingers along the picture. I want her to be with me here right now. She would know what to say.

"Coraline?" Damiano questioned, shutting the door behind him. I looked up at him, not even trying to hide my tears.

He stood over me and looked at the picture, and a knowing look came into his eyes. "I miss her so much," I tell him. "I know," he tells me. "It's just -" but I can't even finish the sentence.

Sobs raked my body, and Dam took the picture out of my hands. I cuddle into his stomach like a small child and cry as he strokes my hair. "I don't have a family anymore," I manage to choke out.

"You have me," he says, kissing my hair. "I'm not going anywhere," he says, with a loving voice. I knelt on the bed, so I was about level with him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love you," I whisper to him. "I love you, too," he says as he rubs my back. My sobbing has calmed itself to just crying, and soon, I got tired.

He saw this and went to lay in my bed. I crawled up next to him, and he pulled me into his chest. When I was comfortably there, he wrapped himself around me. Almost as if he could was trying to protect me from the world.

I felt safe. He made me feel safe. Everything seemed to be okay as long as I had Damiano by my side.