|| Hopeless || A Countryhumans WWll Alternate History "Rewrite" ||

Chapter XV: Unable • United States •

United States POV:

I felt even worser in the weeks to come, I was coughing so much that it even hurt to cough and sometimes I would cough blood.

What was even worse was that so much coughing made me become dizzier, and I had a nonstop headache.

It was becoming impossible to ignore the pain. 

I was seriously debating the thought of taking my life, i couldn't do this anymore, I just couldn't.

I was such a horrible person, who cared if I died anyway, i couldn't endure this pain anymore anyway.

I started beating my head on the wall, I started to cry, this made the headache even worse.

I was also hoping Reich or something would just come in, get a gun, and shoot me, right then and there. Anything would better better than this, but then again, that's just too good to come true.

 I wonder what Britain thought of me right now, I chuckled, he must of been so disappointed in me right now. I was weak, i didn't realize how skinny I had gotten.

I leaned against the stone wall and became lost in my thoughts. Were my children dead? As much as I didn't want to believe it, it seemed like the case, it was almost like a mystery.

I also wondered how the others were doing, Canada, oh god Canada..

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Flashback

" Why do you have to be selfish?! " Canada suddenly snapped, I was taken aback, " Selfish?! " I clenched my fist, " Me? Selfish? " I was astonished. 

I finally snapped.

" SELFISH?! I'M MAKING SACRIFICES FOR MY PEOPLE HERE! " I said, slamming the desk.

" Sacrifices? " Canada said in almost a disgusted way. He started to shake in anger. " How the hell could you be saying that you're the one making sacrifices, your father AND your mother are sacrificing young boys lives just so you can continue living your little fantasy of freedom. " He said in a shaky voice. 

" THAT IS NOT WHAT WE'RE SACRIFICING LIVES FOR! " He suddenly shouted, I almost jolted at the sudden action, Canada had never yelled like that before, I was almost scared.

" YOU SELFISH NO-GOOD LIAR! " He added, he then shoved me, I was yet again taken aback.

" Fine! Act like that! You'll come back crawling to me once you realize what big of a mistake you've just made! " I said, waving my hand in dismissal, i couldn't believe him.

Canada looked glad that I had told him to leave. " Good! " He looked down, " One day you'll understand what of a mistake you've done. " Canada said, he abruptly stormed over to the door and shut it.

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After that encounter, i didn't see nor hear from Canada ever again, I felt tears prickle in my eyes.

Why couldn't we just return to childhood? We used to be the bestest of friends, and until that day, we remained the bestest of friends. Until up to that one meeting with Britannia..

That's when things turned upside down for me and Canadas relations. He became cold, a person that i didn't even recognize, then one day, he just snapped.

But who am I to be acting victim, it was my fault for ever lying to Britain, I banged my head against the wall once again for that mistake, I wish I could just go back in time.

I wish I hadn't taken was I had for granted back then, I would have cherished every moment I had with my family, told them how much I loved them. I wish I had taken the time to spend time with my children instead of leaving then by themselves for most of the time, I wasn't any better than anyone!