Emotions [Slow Updates]

How We Ended Up Here

(Like I said in the last chapter, I'm going to give y'all the backgrounds of the main characters: Beyonce, Solange, Tenitra, and Kelendria.)

Beyonce:

5th grade
10

Dear Diary,

It's me, again. Today I turned 10 years old. We had a pool party and it was so fun. There was this girl, my friends older sister. She was wearing this bathing suit and she looked so pretty. I wished I looked like her. A bunch of boys were staring as well. That made me mad because I wanted to be the only one staring at her. I started getting mad so my mom let me open a present. Which was this. A diary. I love to write and everyone knows that. I wanna be a writer when I grow up. Like writing books or even a script for a movie or something like that. Ok well bye for now.

9th grade
14

Dear Diary,

It's me again. Today was the last day of 9th grade. I wanna be a singer now. Writing makes me happy but now I wanna write songs. My parents love that. They really like my voice, especially when I sing in church. They want me to sing gospel songs but I wanna sing love songs. I have a book full of them. They're all about this one girl in my class. She sits in front of me in my math class and she is so smart. She helped me with work sometimes. We are supposed to be hanging out today. I'm so excited. She just moved here from the Barbados. I didn't even know that existed before. Her accent is so pretty. Anyway, my momma is calling me to come do the dishes. I gotta go.

10th grade
15

Dear Diary

Remember that girl I was talking about. Robyn? Well she asked me to be her girl friend today. I'm so happy. I wish I could tell someone. But Robyn said we have to keep it a secret since my parents don't like gay people. Well my daddy doesn't like gay people. My momma just goes along with anything my daddy says. But anyway Robyn bought me a guitar as a gift. She is so sweet, I'm so happy that she's my girlfriend.

Summer before Senior Year
16

Dear Diary,

Robyn is the best thing to ever happen to me. I love her so much. Almost to much. But today she told me she wanted to come out. I can't do it though. I'm too scared. What if my parents kick me out and I'm homeless? I hate her. I hate that she thinks I'm just gonna ruin my life for her. I hate that I would do it. I can't do it though and she will just have to deal with it. I hope she doesn't hate me for it.

Senior Year
12th grade

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of senior year and probably the worst day of my life. Since we live in a small town everyone knows Robyn is gay. I wanted to defend her, I really did but I was too afraid. Afraid that people will think I'm gay like her. The only person who defended her was Stephen.  He was one of my friends. He wasn't scared of anything or anyone. He doesn't really like me anymore because I didn't defend her but he just doesn't understand. If I defend her people will know I'm gay and I just can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. I can't have my reputation ruined. I know I sound like a terrible person but I'm not. I just need my life to go a certain way so I can be happy. Sadly Robyn doesn't fit into that. And she knows that. And she is fine with it. Well that's all for now.

2 months later

Dear Diary,

Robyn's no longer talking to me. But I'm fine with it. I don't even miss her. She's mad at me because I told her why I wasn't defending her. She called me an evil person. Every since then Stephen has been bumping into me every now and then. I think he's trying to make me mad. It's not hurting me though. Anyway there's a new kid at school. He's from New York. He's really nice to me. I think he likes me. He name is Shawn. We've spoken a couple of times and he's not afraid of anything like Stephen. He defends Robyn too like Stephen. He saw how I avoid Robyn and asked me about it. I had to lie or he wouldn't like me anymore. I told me that we used to be friends and stopped hanging out because of an argument. Now he's trying to get us to be friends again. I hate that he's so nice all the time. I can't tell him the truth or he'll hate me.

After Robyn attempted, Beyonce stopped writing. She was so heartbroken and she really wanted to talk to Robyn but she wouldn't let her. Beyonce would try to relay the messages to Stephen but he wouldn't talk to her either. Soon Robyn moved and everyone pretended like she never existed. Beyonce tried, but she couldn't ignore how she was feeling. Her grades started dropping and Shawn noticed and tried to help her. At first Beyonce wouldn't pay any attention to him. But she started noticing the little things he would do for her.

Any time they had a test, he would give her the answers. When they had homework, he would do it for her. Shawn didn't mind though he understood that she was sad about Robyn. Shawn would take her out to eat after school and soon Beyonce felt herself falling for him. She never felt that way about a boy before so it was strange to her. Beyonce fell in love with him and he fell in love with her. Soon that got to the point where they wanted each other. Badly.

After 9 months, they were blessed to have a beautiful baby girl, that they named Blue Ivy. They loved Blue and they loved each other. It was difficult having a baby so early in life but Beyonce's parents helped them a lot.

They were so happy. Shawn had just proposed and they planned on getting married that summer. But when Shawn was 27 yrs old he was diagnosed with liver cancer. Since it was discovered too late, doctors could only do so much. Beyonce was so stressed out. Between being pregnant with twins and seeing her fiance slowly lose him self was difficult for her to bear. There were a lot of complications in the pregnancy and birth but they had 2 healthy babies after 29 hours of labor.

They were living in a big house paid for by Beyonce's parents and they had 3 beautiful children. Shawn's treatment was going pretty well. When the twins were 6 months old, Shawn got really sick. Bey rushed him to the doctor but it was too late. The cancer had spread to the point where the doctors couldn't do anything but wait for him to die.

When Shawn heart stopped beating so did Bey's. She hadn't felt this way since Robyn. She started having panic attacks. She wouldn't get out of bed so her parents came to get the kids for a few days. She wouldn't eat anything. After a few days, Solange came and got her out of the bed. She got her to therapy and she was getting better. After 3 years, she was ready to get back out there. That's when she met Larenz. He seemed like a great guy and she was happy to have someone. That was until she caught him in bed with one of her friends. When that happened she decided love just wasn't her thing.

That's all for now!!

Thank you for reading

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Beyonce?

Shawn?