love me (me) [vkook/taegguk]

[part fifteen] chapter fifty nine - expectations

"Why do you look like you were just asked to skin a puppy?" Jeongguk can't help but ask as his hyung returns to his spot beside him on the couch, appearing so doleful and confused that the younger is primed to fight whoever was on the other side of the phone call the elder had stepped out for a minute to take.

Taehyung does not pout even further at his words. He doesn't. He just hates being at odds with his brother.

He heaves a sigh, slapping on a small smile as he shakes his head. "'m just tired, bun." In more ways than one, honestly.

Jeongguk's concerned expression ceases to fall. "Do you want hold off on the movie and just head to bed then?" He offers, lifting a hand to lightly thread his fingers through Taehyung's hair as a way of comfort, making the latter melt. (He could seriously fucking cry right now, holy shit. What is he supposed to do?)

He simply shakes his head again, attempting to stomp down his inner conflict. "Wanna stay with you," he mumbles, shifting to rest his head on Jeongguk's thighs. "Will you let me?" He whispers.

The other's gentle ministrations don't let up. Can he hear the vulnerability in Taehyung's voice? "You mean you want us to sleep in my room instead of yours tonight?"

Yes, but it's more than that. You're becoming really important to me, and I don't want to have to give you up.

"Sure," he breathes out and hopes it doesn't sound as unsteady as he feels. "But first... Let's talk."

"Talk?

"Talk," he reaffirms, nibbling at the inside of his bottom lip before starting. "So you know how... Joon-hyung wasn't completely honest in that he hid who he really is from us for some time?"

He can practically feel the confusion at the odd question radiating off his twin's best friend in waves, just as much as he can hear it in his tone. "I... suppose?"

Taehyung doesn't blame him, but it's as if there's this itch dashing around in the back of his mind that he needs to at least try to scratch, so he presses on. "Do you, or did you– even if just for a second– ever feel upset or betrayed or disappointed, or all of the above at that?"

Jeongguk hums. "I can't say that I did, no. Never." He sways his head.

"Never?"

"Never," he reiterates, causing Taehyung to frown.

"You weren't mad that he didn't tell you who he really is?"

"I didn't really have any right to be, I think?" The younger replies, slightly shrugging. Then, he begins to softly chuckle. "Hyung, when I first DMed RM, I was metaphorically down on my knees for him crying about how much I loved him and how much of an inspiration he was to my previously angst-filled I-don't-have-a-dream fifteen year old self," he explains.

"I just... I wanted an outlet to talk about how much he truly meant to me, how much he changed my life by making me realize that I wanted to do music for the rest of it. I had no expectations of him even replying to me, much less any expectations that we'd become friends and that I'd one day get to find out his real name and be able to put that name to a face."

So this is how Taehyung finds out, huh? Vantae was right. The story is as cute and sweet as Jeongguk himself. And now, Tae just feels even more like shit for even asking what he did.

He curses under his breath. "God, you're right," he groans out, facepalming. "That was such a stupid question, I'm sorry."

Above him, Jeongguk makes a noise of protest. "Hey, no. It wasn't." He carefully tugs Taehyung's hand from his face and slots their fingers together. "I mean, I get it. I've talked about you with him hundreds of times, and he never said anything, which is kind of messed up considering some of the things that I said, so actually, maybe I should be mad at that loser, because I mean, it's mortifying enough that he ever even read my whole fanboy rant the first time that I messaged him, considering said rant was very much lowkey a confession of love," he winces a bit in embarrassment.

"But he also let me rant about the super cool hyung that I'm in training with while he knew you the entire time, and it probably fucking cracked him up with each message that I sent, and for all I know he could've–"

"He didn't," Taehyung gently interrupts before clarifying. "Ever tell me anything, I mean. If that's what you were about to say." He releases a sigh and a small laugh. "Although I'm sure that he did crack up, Namjoonie-hyung wouldn't betray your trust like that."

Jeongguk hums once more. "Yeah, he's a good hyung. Were you mad at him when you found out?"

"Not even a little." He doesn't even hesitate with his answer. "I only asked because... I don't want you to ever feel upset or betrayed or disappointed, or all of the above at me, Jeongguk." His eyes shift from where he'd been staring at their connected hands to the doe eyes gazing back down at him, dark and shining.

"Why would I, hyung?"

He shrugs, looking away, letting go, and sitting up, effectively putting distance between the two of them. "Expectations."

"Aren't you going to ask what I've said about you to RM?"

Taehyung's heart pounds in his chest. His response to that question is a resounding, No. I'm not sure that I could take it. Not when the words were about and are for someone else entirely. Instead he says, "I'm sure you'll tell me one day, Gguk."

And one day soon, I hope I can tell you too.

//

ksmhptj FACE FACE FACE aaahhhh I can't waitttt DON'T FORGET TO STREAM! <333