my online lover

missy headstrong

The fresh air coming from the car's window is giving me chills but also makes me feel free for a moment. I push a lack of hair coming out of my ponytail behind my ear before closing the window and looking back into the car.

Antonio is choosing a song to play and Giacomo is drying quietly, enjoying this little moment.

We're on our way back home after a long weekend trip to the mountain. We booked one of those tiny houses in the middle of the mounts, surrounded by snow and with a warm cosy restaurant that I loved. We left Friday afternoon, after University and it took three hours to arrive at the place but then the rest of the days were amazing. I had so much relaxing time; no phone, no studies, no thoughts, no boys.

Just me and the beautiful nature around me.

I needed it. I needed some days out of reality, while everything was feeling so suffocating.

Kevin and I stopped talking after the chase. He quieted down and I am okay with that. I still feel like he owes me a full explanation but I can live without it. I don't want to see or hear him anymore.

I helped Ludovico find a job in my dad's hospital after we found Brody. A young girl called me the same day I stuck around the poster about him telling me that she had the same dog that was on the paper. I was so happy and when I brought Brody back to Ludovico, he cried so much and even more when I told him about the job. As a janitor and he also has accommodation in the hospital, where he can stay, have food and warm clothes. They told him he can stay there until he can afford a rend or a room.

Brody is at mine, while his owner works and finds a house. I have never had a dog and I have never realised how hard it is to own one.

I have to walk him every day before going to University and the night before dinner. I am always late and with walking Brody, I need to wake up so early to be sure I am not even late. Despite this, Brody is a good boy. He sleeps in the little bed we bought for him and he stays in my room. He loves to stay under the sheets, so I bought also a big one for him to keep him warm.

I like having him around, it makes me feel less alone when no one is at home with me.

«Enny?» It's Antonio's voice calling me.

When I turn my focus on him, moving a little to put myself in the middle of the front sits. «What?»

He turns his head over me. «Did you hear what I said?»

I shake my head, being totally honest. I was swimming in my sea of thoughts and when I start to do that, it takes me time to swim out of it.

«I asked if you want to go somewhere for dinner.»

«No, I want to go home. I left Marina all weekend with Brody, I don't want her to stay any longer.»

«We can take something and eat at yours?» He pushes and when he does that, it means he doesn't want to be alone but I am so sorry about that. I really need to go home and rest.

Giacomo moves a bit on the sit. «Actually, I would like to go home and rest. I drove all day and I am tired.»

«And I also need to write an essay. Rain check?»

Antonio snorts and goes back to face in front of him but Marina is at home alone, with Brody and she has been there all weekend, I don't want to look like someone who is taking benefit from her being good, even if I am sure Marina and my father could have so great time together and also she said that she always wanted a dog, so it would have been a pleasure to stay with him.

I go back to look out of the window. The dark sky is covering the city full of lights. December has begun and I am not ready to start the new year because it means preparing for exams, internship and thesis. I have had hard days in these months and I didn't have exams, with the new session I will probably drop everything before it even starts. I sigh while I see cars moving fast and passing us. I wish the time was that fast, so I don't have time to think about anything.