my online lover

first tries

Days are moving but the plan stays static for now.

Kevin has tried for two days in a row to get his father's attention but each time he smashes the door at his son, proving his strong personality and believing his son is trying to set something up. And I am impatience. Every time Kevin tells me it didn't go well, my hopes become low and the fear of a big flop drowns me, tormenting my nights when I dream of Kevin being beaten by his father. I also dreamt of him being dead, hurt, walking away and kissing me. After the little chat with Antonio, that thought hasn't left my mind. That thing persuaded my mind and glued itself there, not letting me think of anything else but that. My best friend thinks I am falling in love but the reality is that I have zero clue of what my feelings are, except for the clear psychical attraction I feel towards Kevin.

Every time he touches me, my body reacts the same: it warms as a boiled shower. And Kevin has started touching me more or maybe it's just my perception because my sensation is becoming lighter.

He always takes my hand, holding it and crossing our fingers. Or he pulls my hair back to annoy me but the reaction is a different one, turning on a warm in my low belly. I am pretty sure he knows that and that's why he does it. He probably read all my body language and he keeps acting like that because he likes to have control of that and because I am not brave enough to tease him the same way.

Heading back, Kevin and I started to see each other less since he has started to spend his time trying to convince his father to let him step in and we're never alone. We always see each other when we're in Daniele's office because the days usually are separated into two sections: either he goes in the morning to his father and we are in the afternoon in the office or vice versa. And it's okay. The last thing I want is to stay alone with him in a room, like in the library office he has in his house.

But meanwhile, he spends time with his father, I spend it in Daniele's office because I have nowhere else to go and being at home alone bores me too much. I made a deal with the man, letting me stay in his office while I stay quiet and do nothing that doesn't require my help. He is not that bad, he wanted to know more about that plot I invented and he also suggested to actually write it and use it for my thesis, whenever and if I will do it. I brushed away that option because for now, University is not my main thought.

It's almost two in the afternoon and I am in Daniele's office, suffocated by all the mog he leaves by smoking cigarettes. I cleaned the room, rushed by an anxious urge to make myself distracted from everything that surrounds me. To not think and he let me do it under his curious look, as he knew why I was doing it.

«So,» he starts when I finally sit back on the chair to catch my breath. «How long you and the little mobster know each other?»

I wrinkle my nose at his choice of calling Kevin and give him a murderous gaze. «We started talking on Tinder, back in September and met for the first time in November,» I explain while doing a mental count. It's been almost five months since we know each other and three since we met for the first time.

Even if it can seem it's not that much, it looks like I know him for my whole life.

«You met on Tinder?» Daniele's voice is shocked. «What new days!»

«Hey,» I fend off, laying on his desk. «I was drunk, my friends pushed me to download it. The next day, I was talking with him and I couldn't stop, that's it.»

«It's actually romantic,» he jokes on it before keeps going «My wife and I hooked up in a parking spot and she got pregnant. I guess Tinder in this case is better.»

I raise my browns at his revelation. «Wow, that's deep.»

Daniele closes his eyes making a groan before opening them back and pointing them at me. «That little bitch hooked me with the responsibilities shit and forced me to marry her so the whole city wouldn't think of her as a slut,» he comments. «As she was.»