Darling || h.s. au {Completed}

T h i r t y F o u r

I didn't think the darkness could get any darker, I didn't think that I could sink into it any farther, but I have. There's something that has finally snapped inside me. I thought it snapped a long time ago, but the pain I feel now is a pain I've only felt one other time in my life. The pain of losing someone sticks with you wherever you go.

Losing Zayn impacted me in a way I never thought could happen again. It was like losing Gemma, except at someone else's hands. It's not worse, but not better. Although Zayn and I hadn't ended on particularly good terms, I still feel like I should pay my respects.

I stand outside, my black dress shoes crushing the vibrant green grass underneath them. My hands are folded behind my back, my stance still and unmoving. To my left stands a crying Perrie, dressed in a knee length black dress, mascara running down her face. Liam stands next to her, holding Sophia's hand as she looks away as they lower the coffin.

I sigh quietly and watch my friend, one of my best friends, being lowered in to the ground. His life, cut short to teach not only him a lesson, but us as well. A lesson saying don't screw up or you're next. The sun is out, the day warm and beautiful, metaphorically of course. Visually, this is the best weather we've gotten all week. In all other senses, this could possibly one of the worst days of my life.

Once we hear the thump of the coffin hit the bottom of the hole, the attendees are dismissed. But no one moves. It was a small ensemble, just Zayn's closest friends. Liam, Sophia, Perrie, a dark haired boy across the hole from me, whom I now just noticed, Ashton, and myself. I sigh, closing my eyes. It starts settling in that this is all real. Zayn is really dead. Chris really killed him, or had him killed. Either way, I plan on avenging my friend.

I feel a soft palm touch mine and at first picture Drew's beautiful face, her soft hand holding mine, her delicate voice comforting me. I picture her rubbing away the tear running down my cheek with the soft pad of her thumb. I open my eyes and to my right stands Perrie touching my hand. I fake a small sympathetic smile and look down at our joined hands.

I squeeze her small one inside my own for reassurance, but I don't know if I did it for her, or for myself.

...

Three days later, I still haven't seen the light of the day, except for the streaks that peak through my curtains. I have a crick in my neck from being in the same position for seventy-two hours straight, my hand permanently wrapped in a beer-holding position. My hair is greasy and unbrushed, falling in my eyes, but I don't bother fixing it.

I sit in silence, an eerie, dark, depressing silence that I can't seem to escape. So far, my promise to avenge Zayn hasn't gone into affect. I haven't even tried. I just can't seem to find it in me to move. My phone next to me vibrates and rings with yet another call. I flick my eyes to it and see Drew's picture on the screen, I click ignore for the third time today.

Just as I do so, there is a knock at my door. Expecting Drew, I roll my eyes and stand, regaining my balance. I slowly trudge to the door and unlock it, opening it to an unfamiliar face. The boy is slightly shorter than I am, his hair is disheveled, much like mine but instead on purpose. His eyes are a deep, vibrant blue and he's wearing black skinny jeans, much like mine, and a Black Veil Brides T-shirt.

"Uh hey, you're Harry right?" his voice is higher than I had expected it to be.

"Depends. Do...do I know you?" I try to sound as friendly as I can.

"Oh, no. I was at Zayn's funeral. I'm one of his friends from high school." the boy holds his hand out. "My name is Louis Tomlinson."

I take his oddly feminine hand and shake it.

"Why are you here?" I ask.

"Uh well, I just moved into town and was just letting you know that...well, I'm here if you wanna talk or hang out or anything." he smiles warmly.

I nod and push my hair back with my hand.

"Well, thanks Louis. I'll, keep in touch, or something."

He nods and turns, walking off to a small red car parked a few feet away. I close my door and hear the engine as he drives off, the sound becoming significantly quieter. I sit back down on my couch and look at my phone, licking my chapped lips. I pick it up and dial Liam's number, he answers after three rings.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's me. I was wondering if I could come over." I say, my voice dry.

"Uh, yeah, sure I guess."

I hang up and cross my arms, smiling slightly. I've lost one friend already, I'm not going to lose another.

•••

Hello friends, yes I finally updated. I got really lazy but I'm going to try to do better. Here, have a ladybug.