Darling || h.s. au {Completed}

N i n e t e e n

[Songs for the chapter]

[One Direction-Fool's Gold]

~

   Months have passed by now, I haven't really been counting but I believe it's been around seven or eight. I'm talking to Adam again, and I've gotten new shipments to sell. I blew through each supply in less than two weeks. The best thing though is that Drew and I have taken things further in our relationship.

   Tonight she is spending the night at my house for the first time. I have to say, I feel like I'm whipped. I actually cleaned my place for the first time since I moved in, and I've been living here for about three years now. I sit on the couch and wait for Drew to come out of the bathroom. She ended up telling her aunt that she was spending the night at a friend's house, her aunt really needs to up her parenting game.

   I hear the restroom door open and I look back, which is a mistake on my part. Drew is wearing a tight pink tank top with just a pair of white underwear. My eyes widen and I swallow the dryness in my throat. At that moment, I feel the fabric of my boxers tighten. Drew looks over and sees my face, and bites her lip.

"Should I change?" she asks, a playful smirk rested on her beautiful face.

"Are you trying to seduce me? Because it's working."

   She laughs and walks over to where I'm sitting, I can't help but let my eyes wander over her body. She's so fit, and I'm paying for that. I move over so she can sit next to me, but instead she straddles me and her hands grip my shoulders. I want so badly to just ruin her, to just fuck her senseless.

"I actually was wondering what else we could do tonight, besides watching television." she whispers in my ear, and I run my hands up her thighs.

   I've been restraining myself for so long from her, at my request. But I just don't think I can anymore, it's just becoming too hard with her constant prods. Just last week she "accidentally" brushed her hand against my dick, claiming she was trying to get comfortable. I hated myself for coming up with the thought, but this has been the longest lasting relationship I have ever had, and the whole reason I wanted her to wait is because I wanted to make sure we were going somewhere.

   And we were.

"Yes." I let my lips attack her neck hungrily, my hands massaging the small of her back.

   I pulled her towards me so when I lowered my head, I could kiss the top of her exposed chest. I moved my hands to her sides and rubbed up and down, pressing to cause friction. I heard her whimper so I pulled back, looking up at her. A small bruise was already forming on her neck from me, but that wasn't what she was in pain of.

"Nothing." she rushed, bringing her hands back to my shoulders.

   She tried to pull me back to her body but I stopped her by her hips, making her whimper again. I looked at where my hands were, and grabbed the hem of her shirt. She caught my wrists and tried to stop me, but I was much stronger then her. I lifted up her shirt slightly and saw a tan color on the inside of the shirt. Her hips were smeared with it too, along with red.

   I licked my thumb and rubbed over the red, wiping away more tan makeup. As I wiped away the red, more seeped from horizontal cuts on her sides. My actions froze as I stared at the self-inflicted cuts, blood dripped from one and I wiped it away. I looked up at her, and her eyes were closed while a tear dripped from one.

"Are these, are these what they look like?" I asked, my voice weak.

   She didn't respond, just wiped the tear from her cheek. I felt my jaw tighten, my hands grabbed her wrists.

"Are they?"

   This time my hand flew to her chin and gripped it, turning it to look at me.

"Fucking answer me!"

"Yes! Okay? They are." she pushed my hand away and stood up, pulling her shirt down.

   She started to explain herself, but I tuned out. Horror flashed through my mind, I went back to a time when I came home from school when I was twelve. When I knew how much Gemma needed me.

   I opened the door with the key mum gave me, and dropped my backpack carelessly on the floor.

"Gem?" I called out, knowing she would be home.

   I heard her music blasting in her room, so climbed upstairs to tell her about my day, like I always did. The music grew louder as I neared her room, and without knocking, I opened the door. I parted my lips to speak, but froze when I saw blood on her arm. She held something to it, something that reflected the light at me.

"Harry!" she gasped, pulling her sleeve over the blood, though it started to seep through.

   She ran over to me and gripped my shoulders, shaking me out of my daze.

"What the hell Gemma! W-why have you done that? Doesn't that fucking hurt?" I shouted, throwing her hands off of me.

"No, no, I just, listen Harry. It's just something I need okay? Do not tell mum, ever? Understand?" she pleaded, her eyes welling up with tears.

"But you're hurting!"

"I know, but this hurts less, it just, it does. Promise you won't tell mum, if you do then, then I'll be gone." she stuttered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"I'll just be gone! Promise me that this is our secret, okay?" she looked into my eyes, hers soft and deeply beautiful, mine probably cold and icy.

   I heard the front door open, and we both snapped our heads.

"I promise, just don't leave us."

   She nodded and ran into the bathroom, while I walked downstairs and tried to pretend I was okay.

"Harry?" I hear Drew's weak voice break me from my trance.

   I look at her ad stand up, taking her wrists in my hands.

"Never do this," I pointed to her side. "again. I swear to God Drew, if you do then we are done. Got it?"

   I don't care if I sounded harsh, I didn't need another hole in my life. She looked into my eyes and nodded, a tear trail falling down her cheek. I wipe it with my thumb ad take her in my arms, breathing heavily. I didn't want to go through this again, the uncertainty of when I'm going to lose her. Because if this continues, then I surely will lose her one day.

   Remembering her bleeding cuts, I drag her to the bathroom and gently touch her hip, avoiding her cuts. I sit her small frame on the counter and lift her shirt up, avoiding getting distracted by her chest. The blood is wiped away by a wet rag, then I hold pressure against them so it won't seep back through the skin.

I set down the rag and look into her eyes harshly. "You promised, you keep that promise. I've had one too many people break their promises to me."

   She nodded and picked at her fingernails.

"Come on, let's get to sleep."

   I helped her down from the counter and took her tiny hand in mine, leading her into my room. I pulled back the covers and let her climb in before covering her up. I started to walk out when I heard her voice speak quietly.

"Lay with me, please."

   I stood in the doorway and sighed, giving into her innocence. I walked around and climbed under the covers behind her. She turned around and looked into my eyes, her hands pressed to my bare chest. I flicked off the lamp before snaking my arm around her back and pushing her to me. She snuggled into my chest and intertwined our legs.

    If she doesn't keep her promise, then I won't be able to keep mine. My promise to keep her safe.

~

Sorry it's so rushed and short, but you get the feel ya?