S e v e n t e e n

877 30 13

by sinthusiast

by sinthusiast

Please read the long paragraph somewhere in this. Its pretty much just Harry talking but I filled it with triggers for your feels.

[Songs for the Chapter]

[One Direction-Little White Lies]

[One Direction-You & I]

[Tove Lo-Habits]

I didn't know what I needed, until I met her. When I did, everything in my life made sense. She was like the missing puzzle piece. And now, she stand before me, eyes twinkling, cheeks rosey, smile wide. She walked towards me, holding her hand out.

But she was still so far away. Or, that's what it looked like. I watched her face fall, sadness take over. My face changed, her white jeans slowly grew red spots all over, soon completely changing the colour.

The same happened with her white shirt and vans. She looked at me, scared. The look in her eyes made me want to cower, she looked afraid of me. Why? I blinked and my arm was extended towards her, gun in hand, my finger hovering over the trigger.

"Drew!" I screamed, my voice piercing the air.

She turned and ran, not looking back. I don't know why, or how while I was resisting my own strength against the trigger, but I pulled it. The air cracked, and everything was black. Oblivion.

I shot up, sweat drenching my forehead and soaking my hair. I sat alone in my dark room, my blanket covering me. I leaned over and turned on the lamp, looking around. I didn't know what I was looking for. My bottom lip quivered, and I hugged my knees.

I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried until I couldn't cry any more. I cried until I was sure I had no more tears. I wiped my hot, damp cheeks with my palm, panting heavily. My vision was still blurred, and I couldn't breath.

It felt like something was pressing down on my chest, like something was restricting me from even in taking an ounce of sweet, sweet oxygen. Once it passed and I could breath again, it felt like ecstasy. Sweet relief.

I laid back and swallowed hard, trying to rid the lump in my throat, constricting my airway. I took a few more deep breaths and closed my eyes. What the fuck was that?

...

I looked at myself in the store window, focused on how tired I looked. There were purple circles under my eyes and my eyes were red. I noticed a person behind the window looking back at me, a girl. She smiled hopefully and waved, I rolled my eyes and kept walking.

Drew was at school, Liam and Zayn were busy with sales, I still hated Adam. I knew this feeling all to well, desolation. I felt abandoned again, and no one could comfort me. It days like these I wish I could just run to my mum and apologize for all the crap.

I walked down the empty sidewalk, passing only few people. I knew where I was heading. I walked for a half an hour before I reached the large brass metal gates. I approached the small booth by them and the man opened the window.

"Harry Styles." I said, looking away.

The gates opened and I walked through, trudging up the hill. Once I was at the top, I passed engraved rock by rock. Qineras, Quinn, Redd, Reid, Reid, Rochard, Saturday, Sanchez, Sanchez, Stark. Styles. Gemma Styles. I crouched down in front of the patch of dirt and sighed.

Gemma Styles, 12/3/1990-11/16/2006, beloved daughter and sister.

I wish I could hear her laugh one more time.

"Hey Gem, it's Harry." I sat down and crossed my legs. "I-uh, we miss you a lot. How's Heaven? I hope its better than life was, it probably is. I mean, it is Heaven after all. I'm doing okay, better than when you first left. I still think about you a lot, almost everyday. Mum's doing okay, I guess. I don't really talk to her, I mean I called her a while ago but it didn't last long. I think she's still mad at me for all the shit I put you and her though growing up. I think you're still her favourite. So, I mean, I've got some good friends looking after me now. I mean, well, they're not the best, but they can relate to me, and all. And, and I've got someone else to look after me too. Her name is Drew. She's...perfect. She's short, she has brown hair, her laugh is contagious. She's...a bit younger, seventeen. But, we haven't, you know done anything. She wants to but, but I don't know if things are going to last long, what with my background and all. But, I'm glad I met her. We haven't known each other that long but, I think she brings out the best in me. I can't help but smile around her, she's my sunshine. I'm just scared for her, I don't want to drag her into my shit, like I did with you and mum. But, I can't just stop being around her. She's so addictive. Oh! That's another thing, I'm clean now. Yeah, I uh, stopped a few months back after a scare. Haven't touched at drugs, except when you know, when I sell them. But, yeah, I'm clean. You'd be proud. Mum would be too. I miss you so much Gem, fuck. I love you, you know that? I do, I love you so much. I wish you stayed. But, I know how hard it was for you. And I swear to you, to mum, and to God, if I ever run into Des again, I'm not going to hesitate to bust his fat ass. Fucking worthless prick. He doesn't deserve to be alive. Well, I guess I'll come talk to you soon again, love you."

I stood up and smiled down at the grave. I reached behind my head and unclipped the silver cross necklace I wore. Looking down at the dirt, I nodded and tossed it on top. I smoothed some dirt over it to conceal it from thieves and walked back down the hill. That was the first time I felt like I was with Gemma again since I was twelve.

I know, it's really short.
But double update bc yes.
Who's awesome? Bc im all bout dat base bout dat base no trebel