Darling || h.s. au {Completed}

E l e v e n

[Songs for the chapter]

[The 1975-Robbers]

[Fall Out Boy-My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark]

[Alex Hepburn-Under]

~

After a few days of selling whatever I had left, I decided to call Roxanne, even after her behaviour. It was a while ago, but I had no confidence that she changed. I pressed her contact name and held it to my ear, leaning against the back of my couch.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't-"

"I don't need your shit, Rox." I interrupted.

"Well damn, someone needs to masturbate." she teased, sounding pleased with herself.

"I do, everyday." I said casually. "Plus, I'm still angry at how you acted towards Drew last time."

"Really? Wow, Harry. Stop being a bitch, I was just kidding."

"Bullshit."

She laughed on the other end and I stood up, opening my fridge.

"I'm out of food, can I come over?" I asked, grabbing my apartment keys.

"Whatever, there's a a key under the mat. I won't be home until like one though."

"Don't care, need food." I hung up and walked out.

I drove to her complex with the same stolen car as last week. It was about a seven minute drive, with no traffic. I stopped out front and parked, climbing of the three flights of stairs to her apartment, number A23. I lifted the mat and picked up the key, shoving in the lock and turning it.

I stepped inside and slammed the door, walking straight to the fridge. I opened it and took out a half-drunk beer bottle, unscrewing the cap easily. I turned on her TV and sat on her couch, watching Friends, when my phone buzzed.

Joey Tribbiani: change my name

Me: Magic word?

Joey Tribbiani: please...

I chuckled and changed the name.

Mine: what is it now??

Me: Mine

Mine: ...I don't get it.

Mine: yours is <Harry3

Once I had finished the beer, I had no reason to stay in the small apartment. I got up, took a variety of different foods from hr fridge and left. I drove back to my apartment, seeing Liam's car parked by the fire escape above my apartment. I got out, taking the food with me, and knocked on my door.

Like I thought, he had invaded my space once again. He opened the door and I waked in, dropping the food on the couch. Zayn and Adam sat at the counter, turning to face me. They each had a serious look on their face.

"What is this? An intervention? I swear I'm clean." I chuckled.

They stayed silent, Adam having a disappointed look on his face. Liam locked the door, was this a real intervention?

"Are you really that selfish?" Zayn blurted out, earning a glare from Liam.

"Zayn!" Liam shouted.

I looked from Zayn's face to Liam's. Zayn crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Okay, what the hell is going on? How am I selfish?" I said, my voice raising slightly.

"Harry, you're bringing another innocent person into all of this." Liam said carefully, standing away from me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, what does he mean?

"Drew, she doesn't need you-I mean this-in her life." I clenched my teeth at Liam's words.

I balled my fists in anger, just wanting to storm out before I do something I regret.

"Harry, we're just trying to help-"

"Fuck off! I don't need your advice, and I am not endangering Drew in any way!" I screamed, my throat dry. Maybe they were right.

"Yes you are!" Zayn shouted, standing up. "You're going to bring her into all of this and she's going to get hurt! She's too innocent!"

"Shut up Zayn!" I felt my eyes stinging.

"Harry, we don't-" Liam started.

"Shut up! What about Sophia, huh? And, and Perrie! Weren't they innocent?"

"Harry!" Adam shouted now, a warning tone in his voice.

I chuckled, stepping back with my hands in my hair.

"Oh right, I forgot that they were both crack-whores that you found on the street!" I shouted, laughing in Zayn's face. It had always been a touchy subject for him.

Zayn shoved me back and lunged at me, but Adam held him back. Liam glared at me, a scowl on his face. The room was silent for a while, only my heavy jagged breathing could be heard.

"She doesn't need to get hurt Harry." Adam spoke softly.

"She's not going to!"

"Yes she is! Just like Gemma!" Adam blurted out, clamping his hand over his mouth.

That's when I felt the wet trail of a tear stream down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, crying is for the weak.

"No, no, no, Des did that to her! Des, Des hurt her, not me! I would never hurt her, I loved her. Don't you understand? I loved her! It's his fault she's gone," I paused, hearing my voice crack. "It's my fault she's gone."

"No, it's not." Liam spoke, stepping towards me.

"I couldn't find her in time Liam! And when I did..." I trailed off, remembering the sight of her body on the bathroom floor, pills spilled all over.

Liam patted my back cautiously, knowing I could snap at any moment.

"We just don't want you to blame yourself when Drew gets hurt, like you are now."

I glared at him, pushing him back by his chest. I opened the door and stopped, turning my head so I could see them in my periphery.

"She won't."

I slammed the door and ran to the car, exhaling deeply. I took so much oxygen in that I felt like my lungs were about to burst out of my chest, through my ribs. I let out a loud, shaky breath, my vision blurred by the iron-filled water. One, then another, then another tear streamed down my cheeks.

I wiped them away with the back of my hand, seeing stars now. They faded away as I kept breathing deeply, my head feeling heavier by the minute. I leaned it back against the seat, closing my eyes. The aching, the ringing, the heaviness, each slowly subsided as I blew air out of my nose.

I let my hands fall to my thighs, feeling my body relax. Now when I exhaled, it was still shaky, but my anger remained. Who does he think he is? Blaming me for Gemma's death. Maybe it was my fault, I could have helped her. I snapped my head up when I heard sirens, followed by flashing red and blue lights.