Darling || h.s. au {Completed}

N i n e

[Songs for the chapter]

[Alphaville-Forever Young]

[The 1975-Girls]

[5sos-Beside You]

-

As I lay back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, so many things had crossed my mind. Who told her, who told my mum that I did something she knows I could never do? Why didn't she say she loves me? She doesn't. She had the right, I put her and Gemma through so much growing up.

The drugs, skipping school, the fights. Mum didn't deserve any of it, she already had Des to deal with. Des, his name alone made my blood pressure rise. It also struck fear in me. The memories of how many beer cans sat in the trash can flooded back into my brain. No matter how hard I tried to repress it, the memory of his fist connecting with my cheek remained, haunting me.

I hated him. I hated him with such a passion. I thank to God everyday that he took out most of his aggression on me. I thank God everyday, even to this day, that I stepped in when he lashed out at mum. But I never could stop him from hurting Gemma.

No matter how hard I knocked on her door until my knuckles bled, no matter how long I screamed at him to stop, he never did. I slid against her door, burying my face in my hands and crying. He hurt her, he hurt her more than he could ever hurt me.

It's all his fault that she hurt herself, it's all his fault that she attempted suicide. But, it's all my fault I didn't save her in time. I wiped a tear sliding down my face to my earlobe and sat up. I needed company. I needed Drew, right now.

...

I waited at the door, my fist hovering over the white wood. My mind still focused on Gemma, but I tried to keep a straight face. I knocked on the door, bringing my hand up to my nose to wipe it, then bringing it together with my other hand behind my back.

The door opened slowly and I saw Drew standing there. The minute our eyes locked, her smile disappeared. She touched my arms and glided her fingers down to mine, then tangled them together.

"Harry, what's wrong?" she asked, stepping out on the porch with me and closing the door.

"Nothing." I looked at the ground, biting the inside of my cheek.

She touched her fingertips to the bottom of my chin, turning it to face her. Our eyes met and I half smiled, I can't help it when I'm looking at her.

"Family stuff, everything's fine." I said, pulling her body closer to mine.

I wrapped my arms round her, cradling her small frame. Her hands were inches apart from one another behind my back, they weren't long enough to touch. Nothing's fine, I thought. We stood on her porch like that for quite some time, before she pulled back to look at me.

"Do you wanna come inside?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms uncomfortably as she opened her door. I let her through first, closing the door behind me.

"My aunt isn't home, she's working until six." she said, walking into the kitchen.

The kitchen was a small, narrow space. The counters were a light brown wood, peach marble counters sat atop them, the tile beneath my feet was a pure white. I walked over to the double door fridge and leaned against the counter next to it.

"So," Drew said, closing the fridge and resting her palms on the counter next to me. "what brings you here?"

I came just to see her. She made me feel somewhat better, even though I still had Gemma on my mind. I shrugged and leaned against the counter on the other side, only about two feet away from her.