𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐚 𝟐𝟓𝟖 [𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧]

𝟐𝟕. 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭?

Lately Louis was making me understand in every way that he wanted to sleep with me. He was always making sarcastic jokes of sexual nature, teasing me, throwing me glances, showing mischievous smiles and always hesitating more than necessary when he touched me. Our kisses became less and less chaste and his hands more and more audacious. And I was fucking terrified.

Not that I didn't want to, on the contrary, when he licked his lips or when he moved the quiff on his forehead with his hand I would have immediately jumped on him, not caring about the fact that we were in crowded places like the canteen. And often it was really hard to refrain me, I mean... he's damn sexy! What are Megan fox, Britney Spears, Justin Bieber or One Direction, that boy was the most beautiful being that ever existed on this planet. I really couldn't find any flaws in him, he was flawless.

I wanted it, I really wanted it, I had often dreamed of making him moan without restraint under me and I had always woken up with an annoying erection that I had to hide from Stan while I locked myself in the bathroom. He wanted me and I wanted him, only it wasn't that simple. I didn't know him, but I'd never done anything like this, I still didn't feel entirely comfortable kissing a guy, let alone fucking him. There was always a part of me that told me it was wrong, that things don't work out that way, that I was sick, because relationships are between a man and a woman, not between people of the same sex. And other than that, I really wouldn't have known where to start. How did foreplay work? I wasn't really sure I was capable of giving someone else a hand job and then we weren't supposed to give blowjobs were we? I'd gotten a lot of them from girls, but I wasn't sure if getting it from a boy was the same thing, though doing it myself to him was just out of discussion. I had no idea how to do it and isn't that disgusting? I really don't want to have his cock in my mouth and I don't care if he is Louis.

Then I felt really pathetic trying to watch porn, trying because while I was trying Stan walked in and I almost broke the computer from how fast I shut it down. Since then I haven't tried it again with the result that I know nothing except the things I read about anal sex on Wikipedia and gay forums. Not to mention the thorniest problem. Who would bottom?

I had no intention of doing it and Louis seemed even less so intended of me. Shit.

Why did he seem not to think about these things at all? Perhaps he had already slept with another man. He had said that he had already kissed other boys, even if drunk, maybe he had gone even further but he hadn't told me because at the time he didn't know me very well yet.

The only person I could have talked to about this obviously was the only one who no longer spoke to me. Now I was stationed outside his room because his roommate told me he usually returned around that time. I was really desperate if I asked his roommate, who I didn't even know the name of, about him.

Finally my friend turned the corner and obviously paled at my sight.

"Hey Nialler, I need to talk to you" I saw he was already about to protest so I blocked him immediately "no, this time I don't give a shit if you have to do something of little importance to avoid me"

He seemed to resign himself, so he opened the door to his room and made me sign to enter.

"Do you want something to eat Harry?"

"No, thanks, I'm fine like this" he was visibly nervous, he didn't know what to do, what to say and ran his hand through his hair repeatedly. Finally he seemed to resign himself and sat down on the bed.

"Okay let's talk" He kept his eyes down and didn't dare to look up at me.

"Niall I don't have much to tell you, you're the one who should explain" he sighed.

"I know" He didn't seem to want to add any explanation though so I continued

"You're the one who disappeared"