tired-matt

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•matt•
im so tired. actually im exhausted. Since tours been over I've felt so lost. We went from having a plan everyday to being back to the same old, waiting to film and doing nothing all day. it's definitely nice to be back home and relaxing and gaining the sleep back I lost but honestly I miss my friends. I miss the rush and truthfully I miss the anxiety, anxiety sounds weird but I loved meeting my fans, but now I've see a lot of them I know they are family, not just fans. It was so nice putting names to faces, and faces to names, finally. But since I've been so tired, sleep isn't enough I'm socially worn out, and it's starting so show on the outside.

N: ready to film?!
Nick shouts from the kitchen.
C: yeah!
I've just been asleep for two hours.
N: wheres Matt?
I hear nick say as I walk towards the kitchen.
M: I can't drive I'll fall asleep
I said rubbing my eyes.

•chris•
Matt looked exhausted I've never seen him look like that. he hadn't got dressed today and he didn't look ready to film at all.
C: matt you look dead
I said Nick laughing a long with me.
M: I feel dead
He said going back to his room
N: wanna film later? When your awake?
M: yeah probably, sorry
matt walked over looking sorry for himself.
C: Matt don't forget we're streaming later!
I said as he got further away
M: oh...okay
C: maybe get some sleep buddy

no shit chris, no fucking shit.
what do you think i've been trying do for the past few days? ffs.

love the effort tho. i thought to myself.

N: Matt?
N: Matt it's nick?
N: Matthew Bernard Sturniolo
N: Matt can i come in?

what he didn't know was that i was finally able to fall asleep, and that he had ruined it for me.

M: nick
i groan and face plant my pillow.
N: oh my bad, go back to sleep matt
he said about to walk out.
i realised that it might be easier if Nick just stayed with me.
M: wait Nick
he turns around to face me.
N: yeah?
he replies.
M: can you stay with me for a bit?
i ask.
N: sure
he smiles.

Nick comes and cuddles up next to me and i rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat before eventually going to sleep, and a lot more peacefully this time.

I woke up to not one body beside me, but 2. i had Nick on my right, and Chris snuggled against my back on the left. i love my brothers.

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