Broken (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 60

TRIGGER WARNING: talk of abuse.

***Navaeh's P.O.V.***

"Have you had a chance to read some of the workbook?"

"I've had the time to," I confessed to Dr. Posa as I sat back in the chair I was in and focused my gaze on the stress ball in my hands.

"But you haven't," he inferred as he walked to his own chair that was across from me and plopped down in it. He loosened his tie a little bit; he had been doing that a lot and I guessed that it had something to do with the fact that he seemed to have a sore throat. It must've been uncomfortable to have a boa restrictor of a tie around his throat while it was too sore to talk sometimes.

I shook my head, "It's not like I didn't want to... I've just had something else on my mind."

"What's that?" he wondered as he glanced at the recorder to make sure that it was still on and catching my responses. He was good at listening; I'd only had three sessions with him and I could tell that he was always listening to what I was saying. He would speak at the right time and he had no problem with telling me when something seemed like it was too hard for me to handle. He hadn't pushed me to discuss anything that was too much and he was always patient when I was hesitant to tell him something. So far, he was shaping up to be a good therapist.

"James' trial is this Friday," I told him after a long sigh and a slight hesitation. He knew who James was; we had had a very lengthy discussion about him during the last session. Just saying his name was enough to make me feel like I wanted to curl into a ball and sit in the corner for an hour or two. Maybe have Niall come over and hold me until I forgot about that blasted name.

"And you'll have to testify against him, I assume," Dr. Posa coughed after he had spoken; he tugged at his tie yet again and then just decided to take it off altogether.

I nodded and then opened and closed my mouth again and again as if I was trying to figure out what I should say next. Finally, I settled on something, "how am I supposed to look at him while he's in the same room as me when I can barely handle looking at his face when it's on the TV. I broke down for a whole hour yesterday when Niall couldn't change the news channel fast enough and his mug shot was just sitting there."

"It's not going to be easy," he nodded when he said the words and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes at that, "but it's one of those things that you have to do. And it's okay to cry; I know that it may seem embarrassing when you're with unfamiliar people, but sometimes you can't help it. Whatever happens, you have to be there."

"I just wish that I didn't have to do this so soon," I sighed as I shook my head and gripped the stress ball a bit tighter than I had been.

Dr. Posa leaned forward in his seat the slightest bit so that he could grab his glass of water from the table beside him. After taking a sip, he spoke, "maybe it'll be good for you; it could be an opportunity to gain some closure."

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My fingers tapped against the wooden desk in front of me as if every tap was helping to delay the clock. Niall sat behind me in one of the pews and his fingers brushed up against my shoulder lightly and the gesture was kind of like his way of telling me that he was right there. There were cameras in the court room; I was beyond surprised to find that out, but it wasn't something I could change. Apparently this particular case was very big (probably due to Niall being mildly involved) and the news had jumped at the chance to put it all on TV. Niall had tried to challenge that, but there was nothing that he could do about it. In the end we both had to deal with the fact that this personal matter was about to become everyone's business.